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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=goody2shuz]I do understandthat you need the chemistry which you admit physically you do.....but it takes a while for two people to develop it sexually. You may be comparing him to what you had in the past and that is so unfair of you. :nono: You need to look at the entire guy and realize that the first time you are intimate is not the best. It wasn't with me & Tom and now it just keeps getting bettter & better :bouncing: So....I think you should definitely reevaluate things. that's just Goody's opinion....Goody :wave:[/QUOTE]

I usually agree completely with Goody's advice, but in this case, I strongly disagree with the notion that intimacy takes time to develop. Maybe it gets better over time, but if there is not passion and intense sexual chemistry from the start, I really don't think it will ever happen. If I had sex with a guy and it was only so-so, I would move on. I'm not talking about a little awkwardness or if his performance isn't that mind-blowing, but if you just don't feel those tingles and excitement from touching and kissing him, I don't think it's worth pursuing a relationship. If you don't have sexual chemistry and an intense, irresistable physical connection, you might as well be friends. You should not have to choose between a great lover who is flaky and not faithful and a guy who treats you well but doesn't wow you in bed. Neither choice is appealing, and Greeneyes, along with all the other single ladies here, deserves much more. I wish you all the best, GE, but I'm just not that optimistic that things will work out with Nick based on the lack of sexual chemistry you seem to feel for him. I think everything you've said about intimacy and no longer seeking out guys who will abandon you makes a lot of sense and will serve you well, but also it seems like you are a passionate, sensual woman who would never be happy with a man who doesn't turn you on in a big way. I remember when you said you'd be happier alone than with Nick because he just doesn't blow you away in bed, and I have to agree that it's not really worth wasting time on a man who doesn't make you crazy for him sexually.

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