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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

dear adam, try not to clutter your head with "what ifs." 2.5 years together is a long time - though you don't mention your age. it's hard to say what's going through your gf's mind at this particular point in time. it's also not necessarily true that your gf cheated on you. it could just be that she was flattered by the attentions of other guys and had forgotten what that was like. this may have led to some questioning in her own mind. am i ready to settle down, etc? i'm not sure if marriage is something you've talked about - and again there are a lot of fuzzy things in my mind about this one because i don't know how old you both are or what your future/career plans are. in any case when you are in a relationship for a long period of time, it is natural to start questioning whether or not you are ready to make a permanent commitment. i also don't know where the two of you stand on this issue. if there are differences in opinion or willingness to commit - these could be things she wants to think about. i'd like to suggest this: between the two of you agree to spend a certain amount of time without any contact - no phone, email, internet, text, not even an away msg that woud give the other person info. also no third party contact - no questioning through friends or family. but when you make this agreement - set a date and time - perhaps meet for a quiet dinner - and discuss with each other all the things you've thought about regarding your relationship with each other during this time apart. i think this will help to define a direction for the two of you.

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