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Confused N alone :(
Jun 30, 2005
i'm sorry if i waste anyone's time here. i have no idea where to start.........

ok 2 years ago i met a 27 yr old guy online on my birthday. we talked for a couple weeks then decided to meet up somewhere, i was 18 and just dropped out of high school. any ways... our first date was at the movies (Daredevil) well during the love scene we decided to leave after that i was no longer a uhmm... wel you get the picture. we started going out afterwards and i actually enjoyed life for once (figurativly speaking). he was the first guy i ever dated. three months went by and all of a sudden i started having doubts about everything. he was living in a 2 bedroom apartment with another woman, he would sometimes get frustrated when i didn't know something, and the last straw was when he wouldn't even hold my hand when we went to the mall with his so called "roomy". i was afraid at the time to tell him how it made me feel, was still new to having a relationship. that night i was crying and talking to someone on the net i never met but lived nearby, and we meet at a winn dixie a couple blocks away about 10pm. he bought some icecream and went to a park. at first it was harmless friendship talk, then we started to play tag, got tired and we sat in the back seat of his chevy cavalier (i loved that car). long scene short, we got a little more friendly than what was suppose to happen. the next day i was thinking about it and felt reaaaaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyy bad. i had cheated on the first one. til this day i have not forgiven myself for it even if he has. well i told him what happened, he was shocked at first but talked it out and he forgave me for it, which made me feel worse so i drifted away from him thinking he deserved better and started going out with guy #2. we went out for a year and a half.....(just broke up a month ago). he helped me get my GED and started motivating me to go to college.once again i thought it was true love. but in jan this year guy #1 suddenly e-mails me and wants to have lunch sometime. told my boyfriend about it and he said it was ok and to just be careful. so we go on a lunch and we become good friends and nothing more. well i guess this got under guy #2's skin cuz he always blamed me for cheating with my ex when nothing was going on cept a friendship. the arguments got worse and we finally called it off. it still hurts cuz my aunt accidentally let it slip that he was gonna propose on our 2 yr anniversary. :( i called him back up after a week, we call each other and he wants to work it out, so i move back in with him. 2 weeks later he kicks me out and says it isn't gonna work. it hurt and pissed me off at him for giving me false hope. nobody has been here to help me through this cuz come to find out guy#1 wants to get back together but he's married and is only staying with her for the isurance, he has a lot of surgery's. please tell me what to do, i'm still trying to figure out how to get back on my feet and get through this but it hurts tooo much and all my friends are turning their backs on me. i need help please
[QUOTE=dreamcometrue]i'm sorry if i waste anyone's time here. i have no idea where to start.........

ok 2 years ago i met a 27 yr old guy online on my birthday. we talked for a couple weeks then decided to meet up somewhere, i was 18 and just dropped out of high school. any ways... our first date was at the movies (Daredevil) well during the love scene we decided to leave after that i was no longer a uhmm... wel you get the picture. we started going out afterwards and i actually enjoyed life for once (figurativly speaking). he was the first guy i ever dated. three months went by and all of a sudden i started having doubts about everything. he was living in a 2 bedroom apartment with another woman, he would sometimes get frustrated when i didn't know something, and the last straw was when he wouldn't even hold my hand when we went to the mall with his so called "roomy". i was afraid at the time to tell him how it made me feel, was still new to having a relationship. that night i was crying and talking to someone on the net i never met but lived nearby, and we meet at a winn dixie a couple blocks away about 10pm. he bought some icecream and went to a park. at first it was harmless friendship talk, then we started to play tag, got tired and we sat in the back seat of his chevy cavalier (i loved that car). long scene short, we got a little more friendly than what was suppose to happen. the next day i was thinking about it and felt reaaaaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyy bad. i had cheated on the first one. til this day i have not forgiven myself for it even if he has. well i told him what happened, he was shocked at first but talked it out and he forgave me for it, which made me feel worse so i drifted away from him thinking he deserved better and started going out with guy #2. we went out for a year and a half.....(just broke up a month ago). he helped me get my GED and started motivating me to go to college.once again i thought it was true love. but in jan this year guy #1 suddenly e-mails me and wants to have lunch sometime. told my boyfriend about it and he said it was ok and to just be careful. so we go on a lunch and we become good friends and nothing more. well i guess this got under guy #2's skin cuz he always blamed me for cheating with my ex when nothing was going on cept a friendship. the arguments got worse and we finally called it off. it still hurts cuz my aunt accidentally let it slip that he was gonna propose on our 2 yr anniversary. :( i called him back up after a week, we call each other and he wants to work it out, so i move back in with him. 2 weeks later he kicks me out and says it isn't gonna work. it hurt and pissed me off at him for giving me false hope. nobody has been here to help me through this cuz come to find out guy#1 wants to get back together but he's married and is only staying with her for the isurance, he has a lot of surgery's. please tell me what to do, i'm still trying to figure out how to get back on my feet and get through this but it hurts tooo much and all my friends are turning their backs on me. i need help please[/QUOTE]





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