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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hi, I am 21 years old. Let me start off by saying that I have the absolute most amazing boyfriend anybody could have. No lie. So far we have been dating for almost 5 months. He just turned 21 this year, and I am going to turn 22 in August of this year. We were both our first actual relationships and we lost our virginities to eachother as well. Anyways, he pays for everything. He opens doors for me. He buys me flowers every month. He tells me he loves me at least 4 times a day. He's cried in my arms, telling me he loves me so much. He tells me that if I ever broke up with him he'd kill himself if we never got back together. He tells me he wants to marry me and have children with me. And I feel the exact same way. Within 2 weeks of dating him I knew that he was the man I am going to marry someday.

The only problem is, I have this underlying thought of hurting him in some way. Not physically, but just wanting to hurt him emotionally. Like break up with him for awhile or something just to make him feel that pain. And then get back together with him. I don't know why I want this to happen. The only reason I can think of is because about 9 months ago I really liked this other guy. We had been friends for awhile, and then the friendship line started to get blurry. Nothing ever happened. We never even kissed but we cuddled and stuff. I honestly had it bad for him. This went on for about a good 6 months and then he just dropped me like a bad habit. Apparently he had gotten back together with his exgirlfriend of 3 years. He never called me to tell me this. I found out through friends. He just stopped calling. Stopped seeing me. Stopped everything. And I never once called and asked why either though. I didn't want him to know that I cared that much for him. Anyways, I cried for months and months over him. And then I met my current boyfriend. I wasn't really over the other guy, but I threw myself into this relationship and I honestly have no regrets whatsoever. I love this man with all of my heart and I feel that if he were ever to leave me, I wouldn't be able to go on. But for some reason, I want to hurt him. Is it maybe because I was hurt that bad once and I just want him to feel the pain that I felt? Is that the reason why I feel this way? Is there anything I can do to stop thinking this way?

Any advice would be great. Thank you.

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