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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hey Gianna - thanks for sharing your story. First off, let me say the whole "you didn't give me enough attention so I went out and had an affair" thing I don't think ever washes. When something's wrong in a relationship, you don't fix it by bringing another person into it and breaking the bond and trust.

In an otherwise healthy, normal relationship, jobs, careers, school, kids, the house, bills, etc etc can get in the way and one partner can be left to feel neglected. But I really don't think that's what happened in your relationship that you just told us about above. Your ex ws a very very sick man with a lot of serious emotional problems. We all have our bouts of insecurity, but he sounds just very developmentally arrested, blaming all his bad behavior on you. It does take two to make or break a relationship. He also had a duty to take responsibility for his own behavior and if he was feeling neglected, to deal with it in a mature, healthy, effective way, not rant and rave, throw things, smack you around then go get drunk again. Every human being alive on this earth deserves to live a life free of violence and fear for their safety. I wouldn't waste another second of your precious life feeling guilty if I were you. You were not responsible for this guy's problems that he came into the relationship with already.

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