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Relationship Health Message Board


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Dear WHOEVER READS THIS,

I am desperate for help. I have been in a relationship nearly 10 months, and I love this guy so much. He always talks to me about marrying me. We always fantasize about our future and we have had great times. We had a horrible phase of non-stop fighting but things have improved lately. But when we do fight, he does it in such a childish way. He says lots or hurtful things, makes up stupid accusations. He constantly asks me questions cuz I know he doesn't trust me much. He always tries to monitor what I do online...I had to change my passwords. I have never betrayed him and I never will. He doesn't want me speaking to friends I have slept with (which I can see why it would bother him) even though it happened years ago. So, I don't have contact with lots of friends anymore. One called me last night and asked what happened to me any why I don't call. I don't like having to choose b/w a dear friend and a my boyfriend. But things go deeper than just that and I have been questioning a long time whether I should stay or go...even though it would totally crush my heart if I do leave. So last night I asked my bf..."How are you so sure that I'm the one for you?"....He asked why, and I told him that I know he loves me, but is unhappy about a lot of things about me (i.e. I have herpes...and he's a really jealous guy so he hates the fact that I slept with guys before him...even though he didn't exist in my life at the time). He accepted the fact that I have herpes, but what hurts is he blames it on me that I got it...not the person that gave it to me. And he accepts the herpes more than the past guys I've been with. ANYWAYS I told him that i don't like the way we fight and we need to learn better communication skills...and I just want to make our relationship the best it can be before we get too involved. But he won't cooperate, and no matter how calmly I speak to him and try to get him to understand that I love him and want to make things work, he's angry with me and resents me for something...I guess being honest...which he always wants me to be...and when I am he throws it in my face. What can I do? Any advice? PLEASE HELP





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