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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Kara:

See? Worrying for nothing, almost certainly. But that's cool -- you seem wise and mature enough to be able to actually DROP IT and now you're ready to just have some fun. Good for you!

Yes, avoid being a "stalker," but at the same time it is OK to let him know that you will be anticipating his call to you when he returns from vacation. Go ahead and let him know, if you haven't already, that you will look forward to seeing him when he gets back and hearing about his trip and doing some things together. THEN, by all means -- lay low and let him contact you. HOWEVER, if much time passes after his return and you hear nothing, you have a choice to make: I'd say you are "allowed" ONE more attempt to contact him and set up a date. If he hedges and doesn't respond -- you have your answer -- forget him. OR -- you can accept his silence as an indication that he is not interested. PROBABLY this would be accurate, but you DO stand the risk of him perhaps STILL being a bit shy -- so it might be a good idea to take action and go for that "one last call."

Men DO like to be pursued -- but not TOO much. It's a fine art and takes practice!

Finally... his little "performance problem."

Yes, I believe you do NOT care. But he DOES. Probably he needed this time to distance himself from you because of embarrassment. YOU have now let him know that you are still interested regardless -- and you have done it by NOT bringing it up again. This is the best thing for you to do: NOT bring it up again. Odds are good that in private and after getting used to being around you, he won't have this problem anymore.

IF the problem repeats itself -- then come back here and we'll talk about ways to work through that. But right now, worrying about what MIGHT happen is pointless -- and I tend to think he'll be just fine.

Have fun -- and thanks for listening openly and responding maturely and intelligently to a male point of view. And thanks also for understanding that when relationships do NOT work out, whether for personality or sexual reasons, there is often NO ONE to blame -- sometimes it just doesn't work and that NEVER means there is something "wrong" with you!

Good luck!





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