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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=greeneyes100]Hi Boston Girl. I'm sorry to hear about what happened with your new boyfriend. How long has he been divorced? It could be that his relationship with you was a rebound one. They seem very interested at first and then their feelings dwindle all of a sudden, for what seems like no reason at all.

Oftentimes, before men have completely healed from a divorce or past relationship, they will quickly get involved with someone new because they are so used to being in a relationship. I've seen this a lot and even read about it in a book written by three professional men called "What Men Want".

Obviously, he is not interested in pursuing the relationship further, and the only thing I can think of is he was on the rebound. Just my two cents.

In the future, find out how long a man has been divorced, because I read it usually takes men at least one year to get over a long term relationship. Of course, this would vary from man to man, but there is a certain amount of time needed for a man to heal before he is ready to fully commit himself to someone new.

I hope you are feeling better. Take care. ;)[/QUOTE]

Hey Greeneyes,

I definitely considered the whole divorced thing too. Before we even started dating, I found out that he had been separated since either 2001 or 2002 (his divorce was finalized last December). I know that between the time he was separated and we got together, he had at least 3 girlfriends (I saw 2 of them around the building before). He said the reason why it didn't work out with them was because all they'd want to do is drink and party and so when he met me, I wasn't like that and he really liked that. So that made me think I wasn't a rebound. I never wanted to date a guy that was divorced (or had kids, for that matter) but I think I've learned a lot by going through this. All I really want to know is why the sudden change without one word?
[QUOTE=greeneyes100]I'll never get over the fact that when we start ignoring THEM, all of a sudden they become more interested, even if only in a mild way. It's got to have something to do with the male ego! You are doing great. Just keep ignoring him and meet some new men who appreciate what you have to offer. It only gets better from here. ;)[/QUOTE]

Yes, Greeneyes, the male ego....I will never understand it myself. :) These guys are lucky to find women who are down to earth, caring, fun to be with, etc. and they screw it up all because of their male ego. All I want is a nice guy who is happy to be with me...not too much to ask for, I hope. ;)

I'm actually really surprised at how well I'm doing now, which is great! I think it was because it's only a few days ago that I was still completely devastated. The more I think about it, the less I want to know what his "excuses" could be. I'm a very sensitive person and knowing that there was some kind of problem upsets me enough. To actually have him verbalize what those problems were might make me feel worse. So as much as I don't agree with the fact that he ignored me rather than talk to me, it's probably better for me this way, if that makes any sense at all.

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