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Relationship Health Message Board

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:) [QUOTE=Hiya]I think you're a very strong, smart cookie who knows what she wants and who knows when a guy is jerking her around and is strong enough to put a stop to it.

I think you were right in everything you said and did. He waited till you were ready to have sex to tell you he didn't want a girlfriend because he was hoping he'd get to have sex and he knew that if he told you he didn't want to date you, you wouldn't give him sex. Will he still try to call you? If he thinks he can still get sex without a commitment from you, he will try to get it. It's up to you to stay strong and let him know that's not who you are.

I commend you for not allowing this guy to use you for his convenient booty call and for standing up for yourself. And you're also right, he may not want to be in a relationship right now, but when he meets a woman he is really into, all that will go out the window. If he saw you as relationship material, he'd be dating you. All that "I just got out of a relationship, I'm scared, I'm not ready to commit to anything right now" are all just nice ways of saying "I'm just not that into you."

You get a strong woman high five from me :wave: and congrats on taking good care of yourself! :bouncing:[/QUOTE]

Well Scotty, sorry, but I couldn't agree more with this. I just got out of a three year relationship in which we lived together the whole time, and I was eager and happy to start dating a variety of guys again as I was when past relationships ended. I wasn't looking for another relationship, but when I found a guy who blew me away, all that went out the window. However, I did not hesitate to tell the other guys who wanted a relationship that I didn't want to get involved with anyone so soon after a breakup...I totally think it's just a line, just like the imaginary "fear of commitment" which either means I don't like you or I want to hook up with lots of different people, not just you. So I definitely think the original poster did the right thing--this guy just wants to casually hook up with you and nothing more, so if you want more, I think you are smart to end it now and save yourself more hurt in the future when you'd be even more attached to him. There are great guys out there who will want to start a relationship with you and date you in public, and if that's what you want, you should never have to settle for anything less.

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