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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Thanks Nini:) Well, I'm doing something that I enjoy: I went for a walk in the swealting heat and now I'm drinking my cold pinot griggio. There's positively no way I can even imagine a bubble bath today, but it would be great during winter time. Well, you know, that is true that I am possibly thinking about him too much, but how do I stop? My friends all have boyfriends and are doing something with them. I am still not speaking to my "toxic friend." Only one female friend is single now, but she's so weird. Whenever she doesn't have a date on the weekend and I suggest we go out together and do something, she always says she just wants to "relax." Sometimes when I push her, she says she'll let me know later if she's up for going out, but she never is! I just don't understand why she prefers to stay home by herself and mope. I am only moping cause I have no better options, but if someone wanted to go out tonight, I would be more than happy. I'm afraid that the older I get, the harder it will be to find available friends for spending time together. It's like some kind of a curse that every promising relationship has to end for me. And now it's the ultimate insult of all because nobody has ever chosen or even considered choosing any exgirlfriends over me. Never.
[QUOTE=SophiaM]Thanks Nini:) Well, I'm doing something that I enjoy: I went for a walk in the swealthing heat and now I'm drinking my cold pinot grigio. There's positively no way I can even imagine a bubble bath today, but it would be great during winter time. Well, you know, that is true that I am possibly thinking about him too much, but how do I stop? My friends all have boyfriends and are doing something with them. I am still not speaking to my "toxic friend." Only one female friend is single now, but she's so weird. Whenever she doesn't have a date on the weekend and I suggest we go out together and do something, she always says she just wants to "relax." Sometimes when I push her, she says she'll let me know later if she's up for going out, but she never is! I just don't understand why she prefers to stay home by herself and mope. I am only moping cause I have no better options, but if someone wanted to go out tonight, I would be more than happy. I'm afraid that the older I get, the harder it will be to find available friends for spending time together. It's like some kind of a curse that every promising relationship has to end for me. .[/QUOTE]

I know it's hard when we get to a certain age and there are fewer and fewer singles to hang out with. Everyone gets paired up and into their own families and neighbors and other paired ups and you're seen as more of an intrusion on the happy family life. I've been there, done that, too. Well, pour a glass of pinot for me if you like, and I'll toast you from here!

[QUOTE=SophiaM]And now it's the ultimate insult of all because nobody has ever chosen any exgirlfriends over me. Never.[/QUOTE]

Please try not to take this so personally. I can say as an ex who was unceremoniously dumped on the side of road without so much as one backward glance as he skipped merrily off to marry the exact opposite of what he swore he wanted, which also feels like the ultimate insult (not to mention a knife in my heart), I think we never know what weird, intense, unfinished stuff goes on between people. His having conflicted feelings is absolutely no reflection on you whatsoever, anymore than my ex's coldness toward me is any reflection on me (hmmm...that may not be the best argument in the world! :confused: :p ). But try not to see it as having anything at all to do with you. It has more to do with him just not really knowing what he wants. The more I think about it, the more I think chemistry, pheramones and biology has to do with love. it just doesn't make any sort of rational sense. It might make more sense for him to choose you. Every day there are posts on this board from people having all kinds of horrible problems and I think to myself "what in the WORLD are you still doing with this person??!!" It just doesnt' make any sense at all. It's no reflection on you, but rather just muddlement in his head. Don't take responsibility for that, it's a dead end road, and there ain't nuthin' in the cul de sak but a beat up old Heartbreak Hotel. Ok, that was corny, but you get what I mean. ;)





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