It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=gamecock360]Thank you curious girl! In my opinion it is never too late to tell someone how you feel.
He knows how I feel. He knows I was in love with him. He claims he wasn't falling "in" love with me.
This girl just kinda fell in his lap when he returned from a trip and things just keep progressing. Keep in mind that she is 21 and not fully divorced with a baby boy. Why would he want to get caught up in all that when he had me with no attachments and we had fun. We made each other smile. MANY people told me we bounced off each other wonderfully. Yet for some reason he chose her. NO one thinks it will last but who can ever tell.
I am trying to move on. though it is hard because though he did have some baggage I cared deeply for him and could see myself going through life with him. I am doing my best to keep going.

Do you still talk to your ex?[/QUOTE]

Gamestock,
I couldn't agree more with the poster who said you were really only torturing yourself at this point by continuing to keep up contact with your ex and holding out any hope whatsoever that you two will end up together. I am sorry to be so blunt, but he has made it very clear that you are not the one for him, and while I feel terribly for you not being with the one you love, you really have no choice here other than to let him go. The other girl really doesn't matter because he's decided that you're not the one for him, and if things don't work out with her, he'll move on to someone else. It's probably best for you in the end that she came along to stop you from rekindling a friendship with a man you still love who doesn't feel the same way--that is just a recipe for disaster that will only result in you being hurt and disappointed more than you already are. As you know and have unfortunately had reinforced again, you just can't make someone love you, no matter how much you love them, how good you are to them, and what a great couple you make together. There's no logic to love, and no explanation for many of the bad decisions people make when it comes to relationships, both in terms of leaving those with whom they should stay and loving those who they should leave. I'm sorry that this guy doesn't reciprocate your feelings for him, but that's the way he feels, and he's not going to change his mind at this point. You guys had your chance, it wasn't right in his mind for whatever reason, and so he moved on--now you need to do the same, for the sake of your own well-being and happiness. Letting him remain in your life, even if only as a friend, isn't going to change the way he feels about you, but it will keep you from healing and getting on with your life. You really need to stop contacting him for any reason, stop following what's going on with his life, especially his dating life, and stop attempting to maintain a friendship with him that gives you false hope of reuniting with him.

He's made it clear that he's no longer interested in anything more than friendship with you, but I don't think he realized that the way in which he went about ending things with you would be much more difficult and painful for you, as things turned out, than making a clean break would have been. Please don't focus on the explanation he gave you that he wasn't ready for a relationship and hoping that will mean things won't work out with his new girlfriend or that you and he will get back together sometime in the future when the timing is right. What he really meant was that he wasn't sure he wanted a relationship with anyone, but he was sure that he no longer wanted to continue on in a relationship with you...I think he was just trying to let you down gently by telling you he wasn't ready for another relationship and continuing to be your friend, not realizing that was giving you false hope and preventing you from moving on. You will be so much happier and better off if you can accept that the relationship is over for good and no longer allow your ex to be part of your life. Again, I'm really sorry things didn't work out and that you're hurting, but you will only prolong and intensify your pain and heartache if you allow yourself to spend anymore time hoping he will come back and not cutting off contact with him completely...take the time to heal and please don't let this get you down too much. There are tons of other wonderful, available guys out there that would be great matches for you, even though it's almost impossible not to feel despondent and doubt that we'll ever find love again when a relationship ends. Fortunately, this is rarely the case, and you WILL find love again, the kind of unconditional and unquestioning love you deserve with a guy who will never doubt whether he wants to be with you, wonder whether it's too soon after his last relationship, or just want to be friends. Hang in there and good luck getting on with your life--please don't hesitate to lean on friends, family, and your friends here to help keep busy and get support and encouragement to help you move on :).





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:00 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!