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I'm very sorry for the confusion, what I was saying is that I was very suicided mind a while ago, that I wanted to commit it. When I found Kate, I didn't think I could find someone to talk to, someone who does understand me. I had never ONCE threaten her with suicide. Yes, I may have killed the friendship, but you got to realize, that if I didn't do it, our friendship would had been doomed. So in that case, it was doomed either way and at least I tried you know. The point is it took something like this for her to realize that we might had been right for each other. She did liked me until she judged me based on what her aunt had said. I blocked her 3 years ago because i was planning to commit suicide, she had no idea and still doesn't know about it. But this year I thought of her and you know the rest of the story. When I told her the truth, it was HER that blocked me right away without communicating with me on what had happened. You have no idea how bad and shamed I felt about what had happened and despite of it, Kate wouldn't believe me or didn't care to until later on. My friend made me realized that nobody is worth suffering over, especially if they didn't care to do anything about it. I was always there for her and when I told her the truth, she dropped me like a rock and just "laugh" at me. Now she got friends and boyfriend, and yet she is still selfish and spoil. Believe me, you would be amazed by how much she would lie. Her own cousin said it himself, that Kate is a cruel person. I had done nothing but to beg for forgiveness, to at least face what had happened and she refused. In a way she hated me for nothing, by that, I mean her hate for me increased for period of time for no reason when I had done nothing wrong but acoknowledge (sp? oops) what I have done and why. Believe me, I had insomnia and couldn't sleep for a while because of what I did to her. I really did hated myself for what I have done to her but realized that because she didn't understand the importance of communication and didn't care to, I shouldn't have taken all of the blame. She put EVERYTHING on me, lied about so many things and act like she is a perfect angel, that she had done nothing wrong and it was ALL my fault. She could have used that opportunity when I told her the truth to strength our friendship and to communicate but she choose not to.

Sorry for the confusion, thanks for listening :)

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