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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hi LittleRose! While I am so happy for you that you and your bf are in love and already planning a future together, I agree with Greeneyes that your relationship seems to be moving much faster than would be comfortable for most people. I think you are under all this tremendous amount of stress because your mind just cannot process everything that has happened in the last month and a half and it makes you feel completely overwhelmed. My advice would be to hold off on buying a house together at this point. Even though you have a strong feeling you will be together forever, you need to give yourself and your boyfriend some time to adjust to the new reality, however happy it is. Apparently, positive changes could be just as stress inducing as negative ones, if they happen too suddenly. I know you can't stand your roommate, but since you're already spending so much time at your bf's condo, why not keep doing what you're doing for now. This way you will only have minimal contact with the rooommate and will give yourself an opportunity to process everything in your head. What's the rush if you're supposed to be together forever? Is there some pressing reason why he would need to sell the condo and buy a house in the near future? Remember, you have time.

As far as your concerns about not being a home or condo owner prior to marriage, honey, that's the last thing you should be worrying about! I'm 33 and I have never owned a house or an apartment. I am renting, and would have NO problem whatsoever getting married without ever being a property owner myself. Why are you even thinking about it? Most young single people nowadays rent, especially in big cities, because it's not easy to afford buying a condo or a house on your own. Even if I could afford it, I'm not sure if I would buy right now because I don't want to feel "stuck" in one place.

Anyway, just wanted to say, take it easy on yourself and enjoy your developing relationship. Don't drive yourself crazy over losing your independence because when the time comes that you're both READY to buy a house together, it won't be even an issue. Like GE said, as long as you have a job and can support yourself, you ARE independent. You CAN find your own apartment or maybe even buy your own house any time; it's just that you would be CHOOSING to buy one with your boyfriend (or hopefully husband at that point).

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