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[QUOTE=Ruth6:11]And if I didn't stress this nearly enough, You are doing fine.
You are doing the best that any man can do under the circumstances.
This girl just happens to know herself better right now and knows that under those circumstances the relationship wouldn't flourish the way it should right now.

IF you you truly fell in love with her I wouldn't attempt this... But is it possible that if you wait 6 months you can send a Christmas Card with a "hope everying is going well" note inside?
And may I add that when you do meet the right person at the right time you will be a wonderful boyfriend to someone??
:angel:[/QUOTE]

That has me a little confused. I should not send her a note if i truly fell in love with her? That doesn't make sense to me. I would think that if I did fall in love with her that I would want to do that, and more. Or might you be saying that if I were truly in love with her that I should be even more patient and wait for her to initiate something.
Or perhaps you are suggesting the note as a means of saying, "Hey, I still want to be a part of your life, just not romantically." In that way it would make sense as a reassurance of my intention to remain a friend. I don't know. Please explain that part if you will.

Another thing, she is probably staying away for another year. A former woman friend who in a way betrayed her and "let" her get raped(and also lied to investigators about it to protect a guy(he wasn't the one who did it) she met where this all went down) goes to law school where she goes. Out of this summer internship she has recieved some offers for employment. She is probably going to take one of the offers and delay her last year of law school. She doesn't want to see the girl(who will graduate after this next year) who betrayed her as it might remove some of the progress she has made through therapy. This just means I will probably see very little of her over the next year. Perhaps when she comes back I will be more sure of a number of things. I know patience is key in this. If I have to wait a year it will be good. I can figure things out on my end and she will probably be in a better position to take the risks that are involved in any relationship. It's just really hard to be patient.

One more thing. I want to do some nice things for her, just so she knows that at the very least I really care about her, even if it's only in a friendly/non-romantic way. I don't think I did enough of this kind of thing(romantically of course) in the brief time we were together. I guess I am wondering what I could do that wouldn't seem too intrusive, like I was trying to win her back because I don't want to even consider that for now. Neither of us is ready for that. I just want to do some nice things to make her feel better because I have talked to her a few times since we broke up and she is really down.

Another thing, is that I don't even know her address right now. I know where she was staying, but I don't know if it would be appropriate for me to ask for her new address. IF she does come back to school this year, I still won't know her address because she can't go back to her old place as the guy who raped her knows the address and might try something, as she did pursue legal action to no avail(though it's still on his record now that someone accused him).

Blah blah blah. Sorry for the length, and lack of a rational train of thought.

And thanks for the compliment. I hope you're right.

And one more of the one more things: I pretty much agree with what everyone is saying. I just like to hear other opinions on this as I am naturally biased, and I'm not at liberty to discuss this with more than two people. She asked me not to tell anyone else about the rape, so the two people I told are the only ones I can talk to. It's just good to hear what lots of different people have to say and take into consideration any little bits of wisdom they add.





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