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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

That's not right. If you're with your boyfriend, then that means not appealing to the second guy via note or otherwise. What would be the point, other than to establish romantic inclinations? (And it is romantic, because such a note to a female saying 'thank you' for being an awesome friend wouldn't be fretted over like you are with this guy.) Besides, what would you do if he said, "oh, I'm glad you wrote, I like you too.. let's go out" -- that would make things more complicated, and you would be bordering on cheating.

Follow your heart. But don't hurt yourself. There are two choices, and both take work to come out with a positive conclusion. You must either work to stay with your boyfriend by being loyal 100% (not contacting this second guy, avoiding him, and working on your current relationship). Or you must break up with your boyfriend and work through the emotional aftermath, while keeping this second guy posted at most on a friendly level.

If you try to choose both, you'll work through your feelings of guilt and issues regarding whether to tell your boyfriend, or what to do next if this guy returns your affections (which is just as bad and confusing to deal with.) In the end, avoiding the work is impossible, you'll have to pay your dues one way or another...might as well do things honestly and without a guilty conscious.

-On a final note- if you two DO hit it off on the side, and leave your boyfriend, you may still miss him or find he was better than the second guy. (while getting over the loss).

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