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Relationship Health Message Board

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My live-in boyfriend ( once thought future husband) and I are separating after 7 years. I thought he was my dream come true and I made a life commitment to him in my head. It has been extremely difficult for me. I run hot and cold and I am an emotional mess. I don't know what to do.
We both have so much anger and blame . Problem is he blames me entirely for this. Tells me I take no responsibility for my stuff. That he has done everything . When I told him I am beginning to mourn the end of our relationship ne told me he had been mourning the relationship for two years now- I never knew that.

He lives with me in my place. He is a therapist, who works when he wants and money is an issue with him. He hardly has any and when he does it goes fast somewhere/ someplace- usually clothes or trips or workshops for himself. In the last 8 months I finally got him to pay bills and food. I own the place so he never paid rent. I gave him the run of my place- the largest room as his office, the garage, and most of the closets. He told me he feels I am using him and that he should not be paying the bills/food- that we should split it as we did once. He is very angry that I have him paying for these.

He has been both emotionally supportive and also emotionally abusive. He scripts me alot and always tells me I need to go to more therapy or speak in a certain way to express myself. When I tell him how I feel- he edits me.
He has yelled as me and it can get scary. He does have a temper. If I get angry and express it, he tells me I am abusive. So I shut down and do not say anything. He is now cold and smug with me.

So he is suppose to move and he keeps letting me know I have ruined the realtionship. He is taking his time to move out. He does not want to spend the $ for a place. I feel so fearful and alone. I have these thoughts of being alone forever and I do not know how to get through this time. I am in therapy, but that does not help me with coping.

Does anyone have any coping stratigies? I keep thinking I will turn into one of those little old ladies you see, with no family or friends. I have hardly as family and no children. I am so depressed and sad now. I can not stop crying. I do not know what to do with myself. I feel like such a failure.

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