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[QUOTE=Soulcatcher] Guys and girls CAN NOT be friends past a certain point. You already KNOW whats going on. Your looking like a fool and you rather have to cut him lose

or give him an altamatum to cut it off with her or lose you. If he in fact LOVES you he will not have a problem with this and say "ok, your more important".

Guys who are truely happy don't need "other" girls as their friends.[/QUOTE]

From a Guys perspective... it sounds a bit shady. i'd hazard a guess things are getting close to infidelity. BUT treat this gently, because i'm going to weigh in here, and say that on the slim chance he's not up to something, if this isn't handled carefully you'll lose him.

Firstly i don't agree at all with the statement that guys and girls can't/ shouldn't be friends past a certain point. and i feel sorry for anyone who believes this, or hasn't experienced a DEEP non-romantic or non-sexual friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Soulcatcher, i believe that perhaps your history of hunting men that were already in relationships may have scarred you there, as your concerned that other women out there may do the same... hate to say this, but you reap what you sow.

Anyway. my best mate is a girl named zoe. Everyone asks why we haven't hooked up yet... they just don't understand. she's been with me through all my relationships so far, and if someone told me it was them or her, well they'd better know where the door is, or learn to compromise, because even my ex of 3 years, who i loved deeply, wouldn't have been able get me to break contact with zoe, i would reduce contact, and i would let her listen in to most conversations, but if she had have given the altimatum, i would have resented her for it, destroying that relationship.

also for hiding the phone etc... it's sus, but there are some reasons for it... for instance, zoe (again) and i were texting, and i knew my GF at the time would snoop through the messages, so i had to hide them... what did i have to hide? zoe confiding in me, using me as her support network, due to being raped... something that i wasn't comfortable in letting the GF know. amd i'm sure that finding that out made my behaviour change too...

Nothing will ever happen between zoe and i... heck we were both single and very lonely, and intoxicated, flirting with each other... but when we both started to move towards "more than friends" even in our lonely drunken desperation, we stopped, because it wasn't worth risking the friendship.

not saying that this guy is on the level, but handle it gently (i.e. compromise, not ultimatum) just in case.

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