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Relationship Health Message Board

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Yeah, I see this marriage counseling as a big red flag too, to tell you the truth. But an even bigger alarm would go off for me if I ever got involved with anyone who thought sex was a negative thing that should be avoided...I do realize that many religious people see this differently, which is a big part of the reason I avoid religious men like the plague. Relationships are hard enough without any unhealthy hangups and issues about sex getting in the way of both people feeling completely satisfied and content. RedSox makes a lot of excellent points, one of them being that a healthy, fulfilling sexual relationship in which you have similar expectations and desires is a wonderful and very important part of any partnership. I know everyone is different, but I can't see how any woman who had been lucky enough to have a good amount of sexual experience could possibly view sex as a bad thing unless she has some serious issues to work out. I absolutely love sex and am grateful for each and every experience I've's one of the best things about life and something I am always thrilled and excited to share with a new partner. Women who see sex as unhealthy and a mistake, as you stated she had asserted, will not make fun, enthusiastic, open, and loving partners...I could not run further or faster away from ANY potential boyfriend, let alone a husband!!, who didn't embrace and cherish sex as a wonderful experience to share and enjoy together. But it sounds like you may also see sexual experience as a negative, threatening thing--what could possibly make you feel this way? That really concerns me, and while I wish you all the best, I urge you to be very cautious about getting involved with a woman who feels so strongly that sex is a bad experience which must be strictly avoided until marriage. Men who marry women like this end up complaining that their wives don't like sex and that their sex lives are miserable and barely even existent...but they should have seen it coming that they were not in for a happy or satisfying sex life when their future wives always had such negative mindsets toward sexuality.

It just seems like she's acting strangely and forcing things to rush ahead at a artificially sped up we all know and love about you, Mike, you have a tendency to get ahead of yourself at times, so if you're feeling a little uncomfortable about how pushy and forceful she's being, I think you sohuld definitely be concerned that she is getting WAY too far ahead of herself. Can you tell us more about how you're feeling about all of this? It sounds like something doesn't seem quite right here and you're sensing that despite your strong feelings for your new GF. I would strongly suggest you try and slow down a bit and take some time to think carefully about whether you're really comfortable moving so fast, and whether you really want to be involved with a woman with such a repressed and vigilant stance against sex. And why in the world does she want to go to marriage counseling so soon after starting to date you? You haven't proposed or anything, have you? I just think you should really slow down a bit and make sure you're doing the right thing...please remember that healthy, solid, and lasting relationships develop naturally in their own time without being rushed ahead or at all forced. You are both very young and have all the time in the world to get serious about each other, so why rush through one of the most exciting stages of dating and not enjoy letting the journey progress at a more natural pace? It's quite disconcerting that she's in such a rush to move ahead when there's no reason not to take your time getting to know each other and making sure everything is really going as well as it seems...she just seems unusually desperate and impatient about letting everything unfold in due course. I hope she's just a little ahead of herself, but keep in mind that her attitude toward sex is an extremely disturbing red flag, as is her insistence on marriage counseling after only a month of dating. I really hope everything works out well for you and that you don't let her force you into getting in deeper and quicker than feels natural comfortable to you. Take care and good luck!

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