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It definitely wouldn't be OK with me, but everyone is different. Some women have a lot higher tolerance for their men flirting with other women than I do...I see it as absolutely disrespectful and unacceptable for a man to show anything but polite, platonic interest in any other women once he wants to be exclusive with me. Once he agrees to date me exclusively, he better act accordingly, or he's out the door immediately. While other women are strict about this, I think that they often fail to set high enough standards of behavior for their men, which results in their guys continually pushing the boundaries of respect and fidelity. Then they wonder why all men act like jerks without realizing that some men actually treat their women wonderfully…the difference is, those women expect and demand to be treated well and don’t view being tolerant and understanding about boorish behavior as an attractive, much less smart move when it comes to men. Guys need us to set firm boundaries or they’ll walk all over us, and to be honest, women who are chronically being mistreated bear more of the blame for this than most are willing to acknowledge. You have a lot more power than you realize when it comes to being treated great, but the only way to get a man to treat you like a princess is to demand and expect men to respect and adore you. As far as your situation is concerned, I don't think I would have continued to date a guy once he lied about having his profile still online...that acquiescence on your part probably showed him that you weren't going to put your foot down and therefore he could continue to get away with flirting with other women. To be treated with the utmost consideration and respect as we all deserve, we have to demand that treatment and absolutely, with no exceptions or waffling, make it 100% clear that we're completely unwilling to settle for anything less.

I'm a pretty demanding and stubborn woman when it comes to expecting and not tolerating anything less than being treated like a princess, and it has always resulted in men being unfailingly respectful, honest, and faithful to me...the hard part of demanding to be treated wonderfully is that you have to be willing to walk away when you aren't treated as well as you know you should be. A lot of people are so happy to be in a relationship that they're not willing to stand up for themselves and put their foot down when their partner is not respecting them...I think this accounts for almost all cases of people being stuck in relationships with partners who don't treat them well. They want to preserve the relationship at all costs because they are afraid of being alone, worried that they won't be able to find someone better, or scared that they don't deserve to be treated with the respect and devotion their partners are withholding. So they start letting things go, forgiving and excusing poor treatment and disrespectful behavior, and their partners soon realize that they can keep pushing and pushing the boundaries of basic decency, because they know they won't be called out on it and made to suffer any consequences for their lack of consideration. This is a very slippery slope that far too many nice, understanding women make the mistake of getting onto because they don't want to be seem too harsh or intolerant. Women worry that standing up for themselves and being very firm about not accepting anything less than wonderful treatment will turn a man off or drive him away when in reality, the exact opposite is true. To get respect, you have to demand it, not just hope for it or ask for it.

I've had lots of female friends who were less assertive and demanding when it comes to expecting men to treat them like queens than I am, and time and time again, they come to me complaining that their men don't treat them with constant love and respect. I tell them that from the very beginning of any relationship, I make it completely clear to the guy that I consider myself an excellent catch who he's lucky to be with, and that if he doesn't treat me accordingly, I'll dump him so fast his head will be spinning. Whenever anything happens that I consider disrespectful or less than considerate, I let him know how I feel and why, and politely but firmly ask him to refrain from such behavior in the future. Rather than being turned off, men seem to really respect that I value myself enough to set these boundaries and inevitably respond by honoring my request and making sure to treat me better in the future. I just can't stress enough how important it is to set such high standards, and refuse to compromise when it comes to being treated with concern and respect, from the very beginning...however, if you let things go early on, it doesn't mean that it's too late to turn things around, but you are going to need to show the guy that you are very serious about demanding to be treated well and that you are not going to let them get away with anything disrespectful anymore. It sounds like your BF has seen that you're not going to put your foot down and refuse to put up with any crap, so he's continuing to treat you disrespectfully knowing he probably won't face any negative consequences. To show him differently, you're going to have to be even more strict about what behavior you'll allow than you'd need to be if you'd been tough from the beginning. That's all the more reason to be very firm about demanding respect from the moment you meet a man--believe me, they like a woman with the confidence and dignity to hold them to such high standards.

From everything I've seen and experienced, men actually find women who don't tolerate any crap to be more appealing than those who are don’t, because the latter group lets things slide until they’re being treated like doormats. Everyone wants someone who is a good catch and knows it…there’s nothing sexier than self-assured and confidence, and those qualities are a whole lot more attractive than when women let men walk all over them just to avoid being lonely. That kind of tolerance demonstrates insecurity and even desperation, both of which are huge turn offs. So please believe me that being firm about demanding to be treated well will only benefit your love life and make you more attractive, not seem too bitchy like many women fear. Trust me, I’ve always had boyfriends one right after another, with many hopeful candidates lined up whenever I’ve available…so this attitude won’t turn guys off, just the opposite in fact.

Anyway, it seems pretty clear to me that you've established a too-tolerant pattern that you need to turn around ASAP. If I was you, I would sit him down and say that you are offended that he thinks it's acceptable to disrespect your relationship and your feelings by openly flirting with other women, and that if he wants to stay with you, he needs to cut this out immediately. Don't ask him and definitely don't beg him to stop--instead, stand up for yourself and DEMAND that he treats you with the respect you deserve. If he sees you as a woman he's only kinda dating, are you willing to accept that and allow him to flirt and likely cheat with other women? Or do you want a man who will fully commit to being loyal and faithful to you and take his relationship with you seriously? If the latter is true, you might have to dump this guy and find someone more considerate...it may be too late to show him that you mean business and won't tolerate the disrespect he's been demonstrating toward you. But please remember that what he's doing is definitely not okay or acceptable, and don’t let him try to convince you that you’re out of line or being overly demanding to want him to stop this blatant disrespect. I think it's time to put your foot down and tell him that if he wants to be with you, he must stop flirting with other women...there is no wriggle room or room for argument here. If he doesn't adhere to your wishes, then you need to walk away...if you continue to tolerate his behavior, he will see that he can do anything he wants and no matter how much it hurts or disrespects you, you'll still be there beside him and let him get away with it.

If you don't take a stand now and demand respect, he will only continue to treat you poorly, and his behavior will undoubtedly escalate...if he's not cheating already, the chance of him cheating if you let this texting continue is almost 100%. Please realize that you deserve SO much better treatment than you've been getting from him, and the only way to get it is to demand it. If you don't stand up for yourself, he'll keep walking all over you, and if things don't work out with this guy, I really hope you will set higher standards for what treatment you'll accept in the future so that guys who could potentially be great boyfriends won't see that you'll let them walk all over you and feel compelled to see what disrespectful, boorish behavior they can get away from. Please put your foot down NOW and refuse to ever let a man walk all over you again; I guarantee you will be much happier and have much better relationships than ever before, trust me. There are lots of men who will worship the ground you walk on and treat you like a princess, but not unless they realize that you expect such wonderful treatment and absolutely refuse to settle for anything less no matter how much you like him...this approach has never failed me yet, and has consistently rewarded me with fulfilling relationships with men who have treated me with nothing but love and respect.





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