It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Unless it's a misprint you said you have only been dating for two months. That's it?? He has already lied to you about something VERY important. That right there is a big bright red flag!! If you do decide to stay with this type of guy then you will and I promise you see more of his lies in the future. Also, nooooooooooo man tells you in two months that you are the one to be the mother of his children and the one he wants to marry. Sorry but NO WAY! I can probably bet my life's savings that this guy is lying about the ex GF situation too, I wouldn't believe that story. I would NOT waste your time with a guy that has already lied and is giving you EVERYTHING to lure you into a relationship, Seems like he's saying all the right things to you isn't he? IF he is NOT responsible for his child and make no effort then I would run the other way. If he knew what love was then he would try everything in his soul to provide and see his child no matter what the mother said. So my advice is run, run , run and find you a man that won't lie to you and doesn't give you everything you want to hear right up front and one that has his priorities and responsibilities straight. Good luck.
[QUOTE=CarpeDiem2006]Part of me believes this is my way to give back the love that I never received. Part of me wants to be selfish and have my own children and not have to be reminded daily of my bf's ex.[/QUOTE]
Wow, that's a tough one, but one I totally understand (not the child issue, but choosing between giving more or being selfish).

I don't know that I really have advice though. I think it always the best thing to "open your heart more to become a better person", but I think your are right in saying it's something YOU really have to search within your OWN heart for the right answer for yourself.
I can only say take your time. Not to diminish the time frame, but you've only been dating two months. There's no harm in giving yourself more time to just date this guy and determine if this is something you want to give of yourself or not. You do not have to commit to a future with him just because you are dating him.

I wish you the best with your decision. You have my support in either direction you go. :)
I have the same concerns as you, and a few more. The two of you have been dating for only 2 months and he's already talking marriage and children? You also said he was engaged once before. Red flag.

Next, and even more importantly, he lied to you by not revealing the fact that he has a child. This is not a trivial thing. This is HUGE! It speaks volumes about his integrity and trustworthiness. I'm sorry, but I don't even believe his ex 'tricked' him into anything. I would have a hard time believing anything after that. He 'tricked' you into believing he didn't have any children.

If he's paying child support (as he should be), she can't stop him from seeing his child unless there's some kind of restraining order. Whether she wants him to see the child or not, is irrevelent. He has the right, and I'm sure he knows that. If he loved his child, he wouldn't have hidden it. He would have shouted it with pride. And he wouldn't have even considered dating a woman in the first place if she had a problem with it. Lots of people, men and women both, have found wonderful husbands or wives without hiding the fact that they had a child. You don't have to tell someone on the first date, but c'mon. They need to know about it long before they get serious.

You have every right to be worried and you made some very good points. If you marry him, you will be tied to both his child and his ex. She may hate you. The child may hate you. When he said that if it meant losing you, he would walk away from the situation, what situation was he referring to? A releationship with his child? Surely he didn't mean that.

One more thing. How can you even think yourself 'selfish' for not wanting all that baggage he's got? You have every right to want what the rest of us want. You obviously have lots of love to give. As I sat here reading what you posted it made my heart sink. I can envision the whole nightmare. You setting yourself up for one big heartbreak after another with this guy because of your caring and sensitive nature. Too bad everyone isn't more like you. Your loyalty and kind-heartedness could get you in deep if you're not careful. I guess I just see too many red flags here. I know you see them too. That's why you're here. Please take care.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:40 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!