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[QUOTE=greeneyes100]Yes, last Saturday night, but I don't think he was very interested. He talked an awful lot about himself and his horse. It seemed almost as if he was having a love affair with his darn horse, as much as he talked about him/her! He was short, but pretty attractive, and very intelligent. He has a degree in physics. Maybe he thought he was too smart for me. That's what he acted like.

He didn't say anything about a second date, so I think it's another dead end date! I'm getting really frustrated. I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing something wrong, and that's why I hardly ever get second dates. Actually, most of the men I've met so far I haven't really felt that much chemistry with, so maybe that has something to do with it. I just don't know.

Then, I went to lunch Sunday with a man I was very attracted to physically, and I got really nervous. Sometimes, we would just sit there and he would look into my eyes, without saying anything. He did mention wanting to go out again. He is 48 and his last girlfriend was 52. But they've only been separated for one month! So, I just don't know what to think. I'm afraid he might be on the rebound. We went to lunch and then he wanted to go look at Best Buy for a television.

Then, I am supposed to have a second date with Kelly this weekend. The one that waited awhile to ask for a second date.

Sometimes, I think I still have some underlying insecurities about myself and that's why I have trouble starting and maintaining relationships.[/QUOTE]

GE, I don't think you're doing anything wrong on your dates. It doesn't seem like it to me. It's just really a draw of the luck to meet the right person, and it's just taking you longer. For example, I think the NASA guy might have been a bit full of himself (and his horse :D ). Also, guys of a certain age who have been single for a long time might not be very realistic or very flexible at this point, so it could be harder to meet someone compatible in that age group. I think your best bet would be someone divorced for a couple of years or widowed, who generally liked being married. I would be very scared of a bachelor in his late 40s or 50s--most likely he would have problems with commitment. So, I think you just need to be a little more patient, which is easier said than done, of course. I am feeling discouraged and tired of looking also. I think if my ex-ex asked me to marry him now, I would because at least I know him and despite his drawbacks, he does have a lot of qualities that I like, and all these guys online are just so flaky and weird.
[QUOTE=greeneyes100]I really do think that your ex-ex and you could have a very exciting relationship, if you could just learn to communicate without so much hostility. Geminis can be very hostile and if you can learn to act, instead of reacting, to that hositility, I think you two could pull this relationship off.

My instincts are telling me, from what you have told me so far, that he cares very much for you, whether he would like to admit it or not. The last thing a man wants to do is admit a weakness of any kind.

Also, you have much in common as far as your childhood traumas, and might be able to build a unique closeness based on these common tramatic incidents in early childhood. I still think if he calls you again, and you tell him you want to get married, he may very well make that commitment. But, it would have to be communicated in a loving way, void of any resentment.

I still believe when someone shows that much emotion, their feelings run deep. He is probably just as frightened as you are about getting too close!

I do think you are right about it taking me longer to find someone, since a lot of men my age are so set in their ways.

GG, I think maybe some of these men are intimidated by me, especially the older ones. Either that, or they are just too set in their ways. Heartland may be right that the NASA guy was talking a lot because he was so nervous.

I'm still debating whether or not to go on that second date with Kelly, since he waited so long to ask for the second date. He was married for a long time though and has been divorced for awhile now, so he might be a good bet.

I'm trying to stay optimistic, but sometimes it gets hard to stay positive when you can't seem to find anyone you click with![/QUOTE]

GE, I think you should go on a second date with Kelly--what do you have to lose? Also, the NASA guy might call again, so you never know. I sometimes thought a guy was not interested, and then he would call and ask for another date. You never know what they're thinking in their head! Heartland could be right that the NASA guy was simply nervous.

I know what you mean, though. I cannot "click" with anyone, either, it seems. Well, I don't know what will happen with my ex, but I do care about him and don't really want him to go away. But he's very stubborn and like you said, it's very hard for him to admit to having feelings, etc. I just wish I was different with him when I was dating him. He was so into me that maybe I had a chance with him but the older he gets, the more scared of commitment he is, it seems. oh well...I am just so afraid that if he moves to Europe, I might lose him forever and he might marry someone else. I cannot stand that thought.
[QUOTE=greeneyes100]Yes, last Saturday night, but I don't think he was very interested. He talked an awful lot about himself and his horse. It seemed almost as if he was having a love affair with his darn horse, as much as he talked about him/her! He was short, but pretty attractive, and very intelligent. He has a degree in physics. Maybe he thought he was too smart for me. That's what he acted like.[/QUOTE]

GE ~ Ha ha ha :D I couldn't help but laugh at this. Picturing a physics degreed man talking about his horse while with a wild "filly" like you!!! :jester: Come on....how much intelligence does it take for a guy to realize that horse talk is just not first date material. ;) I don't know but Physics certainly was my worst subject and I don't think that I could even keep up with anything to do with that subject and so would have welcomed the horse convo. :jester: But I must agree with Heartland, that he may have been nervous and talked about something that interests you (I do believe you mentioned that you love horses too)

If it makes you feel any better, when Tom & I first were dating he came to pick me up in his pickup with his yellow lab in the front seat. The dog refused to get out of the front seat & into the back. The dog may have been his best friend but I certainly wasn't going to be in competition with a dog :eek: From that day forward I took the front seat. Since we married we've had 2 more Labs and the one we have now barks whenever we kiss and gets to snuggle in bed with Tom before I get in....but she knows that she goes on her own bed when I get in. ;) I would hate to see you having to fight a horse for your man's affection :D

Thanks for the laugh. I think that you should give the guy another chance....I have a feeling that on a second date he will increase in confidence and feel like he doesn't have to sell himself as much just knowing that you are giving him another chance. ~ Goody
[QUOTE=goody2shuz]GE ~ Ha Thanks for the laugh. I think that you should give the guy another chance....I have a feeling that on a second date he will increase in confidence and feel like he doesn't have to sell himself as much just knowing that you are giving him another chance. ~ Goody[/QUOTE]

He's not giving me another chance! I don't think that he is that interested, or not ready for a relationship. I want a man who is interested in ME.

It will happen...probably later than sooner! :D





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