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I read the book, I hate you, don't leave me, and now I'm reading stop walking on eggshells, taking your life back when someone you care about has BPD.
I came right out and told my (estranged) boyfriend, that I think he has BPD, that he should search it out and read about it, and see if it sounds like him. He went to 2 counselling sessions, regarding anger management, which is what I thought the problem was, until I realized that anger is just a symptom of the problem, which is BPD. I asked him to ask his counsellor about it. I even went so far to tell him...."tell your counsellor to start treating you for BPD, I've already done his homework for him". LOL
I hope he does research it, and it opens his eyes, but now after reading some stuff from BP's (as the book calls them), sometimes, you shouldn't open their eyes to denial, (if they're not ready to face it), because once they realize that they have a black hole in their life, it can be devastating to them. I never saw him exhibit suicidal tendencies, but that's the only one of the 8 signs, that doesn't fit him. I think he may have tried to OD on pills a long time ago, maybe 20 years ago, but he has never threatened it to me. Now I wonder if I did something wrong? I wanted to continue the relationship if he could get control of his anger, but now after learning about BPD, I think it's hopeless, and I don't really know what to do. I don't want to push him into hurting himself, but I don't want to stay out of guilt. The last couple times I saw him, was only out of guilt because I felt sorry for him. I haven't seen him much lately, I keep rejecting him, and that upsets him too. I don't know how to proceed and would appreciate any suggestions!
Thanks!
Hey rosequartz, I wish I could give you suggestions, but I'm in the same boat as you. It's weird how you thought of the anger thing, because I also bought an anger book (recommended from this site) thinking that was his problem, but now after reading up on BPD, that's also a symptom: not being able to control your emotions.

This is a very difficult condition to deal with, like you said they don't want to admit to having it. When they hear the word "borderline" they think crazy or schizophrenic. My bf always blames these BPD qualities on having a rough childhood (divorce, mean step dads etc..) but he has 2 other brothers who went through the same thing and they're "normal".

As a girlfriend it's very difficult because lots of times things are great so you forget that there's an issue, but then when something goes wrong it brings you back to BPD reality

Keep me updated on your situation too!





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