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[QUOTE=SophiaM]Yes, I agree with this; it does seem kind of stupid and infantile to purposely pretend not to be interested when one is. Oh gosh, I just hate all this game playing SO much!!! I am truly sick of it.

At the same time, I so miss being "chased." I hate to admit it, but I do! I want to feel that same high as I did when my ex-boyfriend was crazy about me and told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world and called me every day... I can't help it. I feel so unhappy without it. I miss him so much, or rather, I miss how our relationship was in the first few months. Does anyone else feel this way? Just today, I saw someone who looked a little bit like him on the train, and I felt this sharp pain in my heart. Nobody else whom I also liked has ever been this crazy about me since him, and life is so boring without it. Am I strange for thinking this way?[/QUOTE]

I sure hope not. If you're strange, then I'm totally bizarre! No, of course it's not strange to miss the feeling of being in love, of being loved. As much of a jerk as he could be to me, I still miss that feeling with my ex when things were good. Though, duh, you know all about my feelings about my ex by now, ad nauseum!

But i just didn't want people to misunderstand what I was saying. I'm not suggesting playing games at all, or really "pretending" not to be interested when you are. Obviously a guy is going to be put off if he constantly gets the cold shoulder from you. But let's face it, has any woman had success with a guy they called every day, pursued relentlessly, always showed up at his house uninvited and unannounced, given presents for no reason, and was always under his nose? I still really think it's true that men like to chase. They like the excitement of not knowing if they're going to get us. As much as we may not want to hear or accept it, there is a lot of truth to that. I guess what I'm saying is, I learned the hard way that men are most turned on when they feel they are enhancing and complimenting an already together, fulfilled life, to reiterate what greeneyes just said above, even though it can be really hard, especially for someone like me who tends to live in her emotions. Work, career, a nice place to live, all thatcrap just doesn't concern me. I don't care about it. I feel that no matter what you go out into the world and accomplish every day, if you come home to an empty house and climb into an empty bed at night, you've totally blown it. That's just how I feel about love and its importance in life. Some women do just fine without it. Me personally, I can't even begin to conceive in my mind how I would even try to feel "whole, happy and complete" without my soul mate to share my life with. To me, that's what MAKES you whole and complete and happy. So it's been a really hard lesson for me to learn, and I'm still learning it, but like my mother always said, men really enjoy being WANTED, but they are terrified of being NEEDED. If you make all the first moves, you tend to send the message that you need them rather than just want them. I don't think of it as a game, but rather a part of how you conduct your whole life. I've been back and forth back and forth debating whether I should call the online date I had last week, but when I think "hey, he has my number, if he was that ito me, he could have and would have used it by now" well, that just makes things so much easier. I don't feel like I'm losing anything by not calling him. I learned from another online date that I had who told me "call me anytime" they don't really mean it. I made the mistake of actually calling him and it was total disaster. It's been my experience at least, that they're just trying to let you down easy when they say "sure, call me anytime." If they really want to talk to you, they pick up the phone and call. I'm 100% confident that I did NOT come across desperate to him, because I'm not desperate for just anyone. I'm NOT the kind of woman who HAS to have a man, any man, no matter what, obviously, since it's been almost 8 years since I've been with anyone. So I guess he just wasn't that interested in me, which is fine.





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