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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi everyone,

I have just broken up with my partner. We are both 21 and we have a child (he isnt mine biologically but i'm his dad) and we just broke up on last thursday.

We had been going through a rough patch in the last few weeks because she had just started work after being in college for the last 2 years. It hadnt been bad we had just had a few arguments over what was going on in our relationship. I went to visit her at her work on thrursday but when she phoned me she told me not to (I was on my way at the time she called). A few calls later she told me she couldnt do this anymore and told me it was over.

I met her from work anyway and we talked on the bus and back at home. She told me she wasnt in love with me anymore but didnt know why??i asked her for how long and she said 4 weeks (around the time she started working). I didnt want the break up but I cant make her love me like that. She told me she still loves me but she isnt in love with me now. She also said it has nothing to do with anything I have done and she was really happy with me but in the last 4 weeks she has felt like this.

I was at a total loss because I didnt see this coming and i thought it was just gonna be a small argument. we are still on very good terms and she still wants me to be the father (which i still want). I want to get back together with her but I dont think it will happen (well anytime soon if there is a chance). I dont know what to do as I have given 3 good years of my life to her and I love her to bits!!!

It has hit me pretty hard as I have nt eaten for 4 days now and I just cant face food. we spent the weekend as a family and she told me she wants some time to do things on her own as she has never done that since she had our son. She says she doesnt want any other guys and I have asked her to think about giving our relationship one last chance and she said that will be the first relationship thing she does.

I have had our son over the weekend and it is killing me each time I think about her.i'm ok when i'm around her and i feel we can be friends (and i want to be if i cant be with her) but its when I start thinking about things i just cant face not being with her!! I want to call her and talk but i dont want to push her away and thats the last thing i want, I just dont know what to do!!
We have arranged for me to look after our son for 2 nights a week and I can spend the weekend up there and stay over (not staying over every weekend untill after some time has passed.

I am staying over at her house (i'm living back at my parents) on saturday cause she had a night out planned and I dont know how I will cope. She isnt going out looking for a guy (she has a problem with sex too) she wants to have some fun. I asked her not to kiss any guys (i told her if she found someone she really wanted tho to do it as I want her happieness) and she said she doenst want a guy anytime soon.

i'm basically looking for some advice to try and get her back (if you think thats right??), how to deal with losing her, how to deal with being a father and what to do about my eating problem!!

i do want her and I want us to be a family but I just dont know what to do!!!

i hope someone can help!!!

Alan





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