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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

first of all props to you for being a stand up guy!!! you must be an amazing guy if your being a "daddy" to her son..especially at 21. wow... therse not alot like you out there.. so good for you. sounds to me like her career is extremely important to her and that she wants to concentrate on that right now especially if its new. sad to say... i also feel like she is taking advantage of you in some ways.. as knowing you will always be there for her son even if you are not together. when somoeone tells their partner that they just "arent in love" then that person who was told, should just break from the relationship for a few days. in your case this is a long relationship w a major responsibility involved and i think that if you stayed away from her for a few weeks or so w/out even talking that she will realize what she is missing out on really soon. trust me... i was w my bf for 5 yrs and we were at different colleges and i couldnt handle the long distance any more so i broke up w him for someone else... w knowing that if i ever wanted to try again... he would cuz he had told me that through tears all the time. i told him i never wanted to get back together and that i wanted to be w the other guy and just be his friend not gf anymore. well it took me about 3 months to realize what i was missing out on and tried to get him back but slowly we tried and he just didint trust me that i wouldnt leave again. so now we've both moved on and im w the other guy i left him for after all. my point is from experiience..... if you keep trying to get her back then she is gonna push you away even more...( like i did) once you stop then shes gonna realize everything she is missing out on.. and that you truly love her and want to be there for her and her son.. and then she will regret breaking up with you.... you know she wants you to still be around for her son's sake and she can string you along that way, and i know this will be hard for you but tell her you cant take her son every time she asks other wise she knows she doesnt have to be with you in order for you to be in her sons life.. " she wants her cake and to eat it too" if you know what i mean.. .she wants the best of both worlds to be free but yet know you wont go anywhere. i thinkl right now with being a young mom and finishing college that she wants time to focus on her career and have fun. i do think you guys will get back together but you need to give it time and not suck up to her or give in to everything she wants cuz the shes has the control. let her know you want to be there for your son but you wont sit around forever and wait for her tyo come back. as far as your eating problem... dont let her control your life like that. can you hang out w your friends or family to keep yourself occupied and not thinking of her constantly? i think she needs time for herself.. after all becoming a mom at a yougn age, having a longterm relationship, and starting a new job im sure is stressful. well sorry for the long post, i hope my experience w this helps ya a little! im the same age as you so i know you can doubt a longterm relationship sometimes, but i know how you must feel to but i think you guys can work this out and if not,, then you deserve better and im sure it wont take long being the person you seem to be!!!! good luck w this and keep me posted! xoxoxo

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