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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Thghtsreal, I'm 23 and considered quite attractive, and I'd be thrilled to go on a cruise with any guy willing to pay my way!! If you know any who'd like to take me up on that offer, please send them in my direction! That sounds like a great idea...I wish more guys considered taking us 23 year old girls on vacation to be a fantastic plan and an excellent use for their money. Who knows, now that I'm back on the market, I've been hearing from mostly guys who claim to make a lot of money, so Mexico, here I come! (hopefully...actually, I did take a cruise from LA to Mexico paid for and including the wonderful company of my lovely mother) ;)

On a more serious note, I totally agree with Piranna. I'm a poor student but I've always been careful to invest and sock money away whenever possible and not spend money on things I don't really want or need, so I have quite a nice nest egg by now and can certainly pay my way. It's nice to be spoiled sometimes, but money isn't important to me as long as a guy treats me great...I'd even feel a little weird freeloading all the time off of a guy. I don't think it reflects very well on women, after all the hard work we've put I fighting to be considered equal to men professionally, to act like spoiled, entitled money-grubbing princesses. Come on! Okay, we're only making $.68 cents to every man's dollar in our same profession, but still, we can afford to chip in and pay at least part of our way. It's sexist and lazy to sit back and refuse to open your wallet unless the man is really well off and insists on paying for everything...

Gundam, I think you can do a lot better. It seems to me like the money thing isn't even really the issue; I read your past threads, and it sounds like she's been pulling away from you ever since you started writing about the relationship. Don't you feel like you do more than your share of the effort as far as making plans, going out of your way for her, doing nice things for her, compromising and apologizing, tiptoeing around her when she's in a bad mood, making excuses for the mean and nasty things she says to you, fiiving her time and space apart from you on demand, etc.? It just sounds to me like she isn't all that invested in the relationship and would probably disappear pretty quickly if you stopped putting in such an impressive, caring effort to please her and make things work. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I'm ashamed to say I've acted much the same way as your girlfriend in past relationships where I was steadily growing more ambivalent...eventually I stopped lifting a finger to keep the relationship going because I could sense myself slipping away.

I'm not saying this is definitely the case with your GF, but I think there's a strong possibility that she is gradually pulling away from you and growing increasingly detached from the relationship. Does she seem to appreciate your love and all the sweet things you do for her anymore, or do you feel taken for granted much of the time? It seems to me that she should be excited and grateful that you're organizing this cruise and taking care of most of the expenses, rather than apathetic and sullen about having to pay for anything whatsoever. You sound like a great boyfriend, and I hate to see you not being appreciated the way you should be, especially when the world is filled with millions of single women who would kill for a loving, caring boyfriend like you. Anyway, I wish you all the best, but I definitely recommend that you hold off on buying her ANYTHING for the time being, especially a diamond ring! I hope everything works out for the best and that I'm being overly pessimistic, though I do think you'd be wise to keep your eyes open and try to assess her behavior as objectively as possible. Good luck and take care! :angel:

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