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Okay... Me n' my boyfriend love eachother very very very much. We're together 24/7 and I love every second with him. I've never been treated as good or loved as much as this boy loves me...

Well I went to my sister's last weekend. She put me in a really bad situation, and lied to me. She said we were going to play cards (poker, I LOVE poker. my boyfriend is actually the one that got me into it) n' drink at her house. Well when I got there she said that her boyfriend n' his friend were coming over. Her boyfriend is a marine and this friend of his is in the navy and goes back the 26th. I don't drive So I'm stuck at her house either way. Well her dad comes home and says that we have to leave. Her freaking boyfriend takes us to a hotel with a whole bunch of other ppl.

We did play cards, but we played drinknig games. I called my boyfriend and didn't tell him where I was at, but just that I was at a party. (I dont know why I did that... thinking about that now, it's killing me, Im bawling and I dont know what to do)

I got really really really really messed up. I cant' handle alcohol at all. My boyfriend knows that. I've drank maybe twice in my whole life. I hate drinking and I really don't know why I did it then. But We played (f)uck the dealer. And I cheated on him with my sister's friend. Guys, I know how bad of a person I sound... But I really really really love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul and when I graduate I'm marying him and we're moving to Florida so him n' I can go to College. (He's already graduated and he's waiting for me) He told me last night that he loves me more than anything in the world, and he's so so scared about losing me. He started bawling to me last night saying please don't leave. And I never ever plan to. I asked him how would he lose me, and what he said killed me. He said I woudl forgive you for anything in the world, but cheating baby... I wouldnt' be able to handle it. It would be over. It's happened to me too many times. And I love you to much to ever be able to be with you knowing some guy had his hands on you...

I held back my tears. He made me promise I wouldn't ever cheat on him.

I promised...

I'm dying inside. I CANT lose him. I know telling him would make me feel better, because the guilt is eating away at me. But if I tell him, I'll lose him forever. And this is the man I want to spend forever with.

I can't tell him. He would hurt worst than me. He's so so in love with me And Im' so so in love with him.

Guys, Ladies, please please tell me what to do... :'(





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