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wow, that was some mean advice.
I left him because he lied about cheating. Well, it is more complex than that. But it wasn't like I up and decided to leave him beczauase he was too difficult, I helped him through drug rehab, alcoholism, ect, and we hadf three friends pass away while we were togehter. I can admit that I am being selfish by wanting him to at least awknoledge that I meant more than nothing to him, but I didn't writwe this post to be patronized, and I didn't see him yesterday to sleep with him or steal him back, I know it won't work! I just wanted some closure, bc he has given very mixed messages everytime I've seen him since we broke up. I have given him all the space in the world, I dion't call him and haven;t even visited this state in almost a year bc of it!
I wrote this post to help have some understanmding of why it seems so easy for him to have forgotten me, I mean, a month after 5 years and he has moved on? It just makes me feel like garbage. No, I'm not going to cvall him again, or see him again if I can avoid it, I'll leave him alone.
I just wanted some friendly advice as to why it is soooooo easy for him to have moved on, and I still struggle so much.
I already feel pathtic for stiill missing him, so I don't need anymore reminders that I am.
please, if anyone has some sensitive advice as to how I can really move on, even though I have tried sooooo hard, please ;et me know.
I have though anout therapy, but I have no insurance right now.
I feel invaluable and my self esteem has dwindeled since I feel so reaplacable, peaople in town even call me by the new girl's name, we look so much alike. I feel like garbage. I want to move on, and forget him, I kn ow it;s over, even our "friendship,"
but how do I move past the pain, and feeling rejected, yea, I left him, but I feel olike I was left, and replaced. I feel betrayed. I feel used. I could go on a and on, there are alot of details to our relationship that I didn't explain in my origional post.
I basically bent over backwarss for this guy, and he only gave a crap at the end of it all, by then I was so fed up, I wanted to move on.
but, I haven't obviously, i miss him, obviously, but I can let go of that, AI think, especialy afetr yesterday, but what I can't let go of it the HURT a nd this feeling that haunts me that I am wortthless, and replacable.
his talijg about her ALL day yesterday, and showing no interest in my life, made that feeling even stronger.
so, no, I will not contact him ever again, to move on and crap.
but how do UI recover my self -esteem?
it was not this bad ever before, I hjst can't get over being slapped in the face by the one person I thought actually loved me, and knew me through and thorugh.
I don't even jnow what i am asking anymiore.
just why has he moved on sooo effortlessly , at least it seems, and so suddenly.
but i can;t despite time alone, finishng college, a few states between us, no contact for a year or so, and a new realtionship.
how do I accept his letting go, and let go myself, without believeing I am unworthy of affection?

also, thank you eagle, for you advice it was helpful and reassuring. everyone else just made me feel like more of a loser than I already do. maybe you all had a point, but it seemed to be very assumptive that I want him back, or am trying to steal him away, I honestly didn't know how I felt anymore, except confused and afraid of coming home, I just wanted to see where I was at with it, so I don't have to avoid my past or my life here anymore, I am moving back to the area. The process of talking to him just brought up a billion doubts and pain and insecurity that I can';t seem to let go of. Yea, it might make me feel better to know he gives a crap about me, maybe that is selfish. But how do I learn to not care if he cares or not, or if he ever did? How do I let this go?

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