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Ive been with my boyfriend for years now - I have lied to him before and we have been trying to fix things and work on the trust. Anyways, I think I have Stds -possibly herpes. I was honest and I told him that its possible that I have herpes. The cause, Im not sure myself. I did not cheat on him and he is my first boyfriend. We both know that he doesnt have it - Im 98% certain that I got it from my mother (since she is the only person I know who has genital herpes) AND I have ALWAYS shared razor blades with her.

anyways, i had a doctor's appointment today. He came with me - then he suddenly decides that he wants to come with me in the doc's room. I wasn't comfortable with the idea at all. I can understand why he wanted to go in with me. Me and him have been having sex and he wanted to ask questions/concerns.

There is many details im skiping here but bottom line - I didnt want him to come in the room with me. For starters, Ive never taken him... in fact ive never taken anyone with me in the doctor's room before. Secondly, my doctor knows that I do not bring people in... anyways i told my bf that maybe that was a bad idea... but he insisted.

I was really uncomfortable... I told him I was gonna go to the bathroom - as soon as he turned away, I BOLDTED TO MY DOC'S ROOM to tell her that my boyfriend was coming in and if that was ok. It sounds really stupid and I dont know why I did it... (now that im thinking about it) but i went in there and said "I usually dont bring people with me, and I know i told you that no one knows about my medical history but I brought my bf and we both have questions"

ANYWAYS - my boyfriend CAUGHT ME go to the doctor's room. Like i said earlier, I told him that maybe he shouldnt go in with me or let me atleast talk to my doctor - he brushed it off and said, the doctor doesnt care if i have company or not since all the doctor cares about is my medical concern. my bf caught me sneak in the doctor's room.

He basically interpreted the situation as...
A) I purposely lied. I said i was going to the bathroom but i sprinted straight to the doctor's room
B) its really suspicious that i did that
C) what did i have to tell the doctor that I could not say in front of him

I expleined to him that I just went in there to tell her that he was coming in with me... but his point was... why do you have to sneak in to tell her that? why couldnt you just tell her in front of my presence. He thinks the reason I went and snuck in the doctor's office is because I did not want her to tell him something. He thinks that I got herpes because i cheated on him and had sex with someone else. He thinks that I told my doctor the truth and because he wants to come and Im trying to warn my doctor not to mention that.

If I put myself in his shoes, yes I can understand why he would think that. It does look bad i guess... since I lied and i I did sneak in - but i just went in there to tell her that Im not alone this time and my bf is coming in with me. My bf sees it as... i went in there because I did not want my doc to tell my bf 'something'. I went in there to make sure she wont slip up or whatever...

I understand his view... and i guess it does look really bad - but im INNOCENT!!!!! i swear!!!! somebody help me!! I do not know how to convince him... and I really do not wanna lose him. My boy friend is a really great guy - i do not know why i felt uncomfortable but thats how i felt and thats what really happened - I do not know how to explain myself to him.

Im in the verge of losing him - this whole thing is serious! since i snuck in the doc's room and he is thinking the WORST POSSIBLE REASON - it has changed our relationship! now he thinks that i probably had sex with someone else. and that probably a much more realistic explanation as of how i acquired herpes (thats if i even have it to begin with)

This man is wonderful and we rarely fight - he is worth fighting for... I just dont know what to say and how to say it... how do i convince this man that im innocent?

could someone help me? does it really look guilty?
[QUOTE=eaglesgirl37]I don't even think he's worth an explanation. This guy is always going to be angry with you about something or another. I mean, come on, he dumped you because you wouldn't let him invade your privacy in what I agree is a creepy, borderline psychotic way. I think he did you a huge favor by dumping you and that you shouldn't waste anymore time trying to get him back--don't you have more self-respect than to go chase after someone who doesn't trust or respect you? Save your self-esteem for someone who cares and who won't go running off saying it's over the minute he doesn't get his creepy way. I think you've gotten generally great advice here, but I really disagree with the posters who are taking the view that you should put any effort whatsoever into getting him back. You'd just be setting yourself up for more humiliation, more mistrust, more invasion of your privacy, more doesn't sound like these lies are any big deal, and he sounds like he's got major control issues. Any woman with confidence and self-respect would stay far, far away from this guy.[/QUOTE]

EG makes sense (I've been saying that a LOT lately! :) ). But first of all, I don't know what you lied about and you dont' have to share if you don't want to, but if he trusts you, he really has no business "dragging out of you" who came up to you and talked to you today. It's unreasonable for him to expect you to give him a daily report on how many men smiled at you or talked to you that day, for Pete's sake!

He really had no business insisting on coming into the examing room with you. When I was a young teen, sometimes my mother would come in with me, but that's it. I really wouldn't want a boyfriend actually in the room during the examination. Doctors are usually glad to discuss the situation with family members, significant others, or anyone the patient wants involved, but he just wanted to stick his head in from start to finish because he was already convinced you would lie to him and tell the doctor "hey doc, I cheated on my bf and I don't want him to know!" That's ridiculous. If he can't trust you any more than that, then the relationship was doomed even before this incident at the doctor's office even happened. And yes, please immediately stop sharing intimate things with your mom, or anyone really. Razors, washclothes, toothbrushes, anything like that should not be shared.

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