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hey guys,its been quite sometime since i wrote in here...

im sure many of you epople remember my ordeal...the ex...if not then i think my posts about it should be on here still..

well heres the update guys.

although i said i would try to stopped. it didn't take much untill i was swept away in his game. we went out and we did stuff. but then he changed his mind..again.

two days ago, i had text him that say "hey. i hope your good". and he text back "u''ve been online all this time and u barely text me now" and i text back "srry. i hope ur having fun.miss ya. love me". i checked my cell like 30 minutes olater and i had recieved a miss call from him. i called back and my guy friend (hes been there for me allt heses months..and like all you have been doing...trying to ge tme away from him). i asked him "did he call me?" and he said "no...this girl saw ur text and got mad and called you". i began to cry and i could here my ex adn that girl, the girl syaing "i feel bad now.". my guy friend said "what did i tell you....are u ok??" and i kept saying yes. and i told him i ahd to go..i got off the phone and cried.
after talking to my clsoe galfriend..i recieved a voicemail (from the missed call earlier). i called AND IT WAS A GIRL..she said "hi. i was looking thourgh my boyfriends cellphone and like i don't want u to text him..blah blah blah" and ic ried more. AND I SAID TO MYSELF "F' this!! i cant do this game anymore!! this game where im confused and ig et hurt" i stopped and went to go to sleep. he then called me on private (so i picked up). and once i heard his voice i hung up. he called again so i answered.

he asked "Whats wrong?"
i said "u should know...just stop now...i have to go"
"why who are u going to call?"
"no onee..i just hvae to go now...jsut stop..please stop.."
and he said "its not my fault you left that text. adn i don't have a girlfrined."
and i said "whatever..please just stop" (i was crying alot)
"fine i jsut wanted to call you and say i don't ahvea girlfriend. goodbye"

after that i didn't call him. but he called me the next night on private again. his voice was low and soft. and being me i was concerned. but in the end i just told him i had to go..

after that we didn't talk for a whole day...although he did IM me when i was away. he put "what your too cool now"

then last night happened...

we talked on the phone. it was the wrost 2 hours of my life. he kept saying i was a retard for one thing...and so on. he kept saying i was the worst person because i lied to him. and i told him i lied because i was cared. he continued saying i havent changed and i was immature (although i thought i have ben the mature one...).

i said "it doesn't matter. i've tried for 7 months..and it didn't matter"
and he said im a bi**ch for assuming. so we fought about assumeing and stuff or whatever...
i finalyl asked him "did it matter my trying"
and he said "what do u think. even though at times i really hated you...i still asked you out...i still wanted to do thigns with you".
and i said "so that means..."
and he said "see you are a retard"
and i kept saying i wanted a clear answer..
and he said"if you were really smart then youd know.."
so i said "it did mtatter."
and he said "Duh."..then he said "so what. u stopped trying."
i said "when did i stopped because I KNOW i have been trying"
and he said "u stopped after that call from that girl on ur voicemail."

as the conversation went on. (talking about this stupid guy that he always assumed crap...=| ). we finally were at the point were we wanted all the thigns we kept on the table. i told him that i have told him eveyrthing (which is true..i don';t want to lie to him and i told him eveyrthing he neede to know). although i did say alittle bit about my feelings.

then it was his turn. he said he didn't cheat on me. but while we "broke up" (one of those fights where u break up adn then the next morning ug et back together) he had goten drunk and iwas "huggy" with a girl. that he smoked beihnd my back. that he though my sister was prettier then me after awhile. and THEN he finally said, hes talking to a girl now.

i said. " what your going to get with her?"
"you said you know me"
"i do know you"
"then do u think im going to get with her"
considering the fact i knwo how he is i said "no i don't think u will"
and he said

in my head im liek [B]what the goodness gracious[/B]? is this. :dizzy:

everyhting is a blur after.... he ended up saying he had to go ebcause he had to wake up tomorrow. i said we needed to settle it now. and he said later. and i said now. he said "tomorrow or monday". and i said "now!!"

there u guys go... =| im confused as ever. please help...i have no idea whats going on and know i dea what i should do anymore....

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