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Another update,

Thanks for the responses. Saturday night, slept at the same girl's house. Joe was there...again!! Her boyfriend had won 900 bucks that night and gave her half his winnings and we were pretty lit. Joe had gone to bed first, to try and get the comfy bed all to himself, and she was really erked with him and started laughing and offered me a hundred bucks if I went in and told him to share or get out. First I told her no way, but we kept laughing and she pulled out the money!

I went in, jumped on the bed and told him I get the bed, she said so. He said he would share but he wasn't getting up. I said it was a huge bed, and he better not touch me--I just wanted to sleep. He laughed and I got in and went to sleep. We slept all night and didn't touch once. I got up this morning and left early, but at around 7:30 am, my cell rang it's very loud ring. He sat up and was like, "Who in the heck is calling you at 7 in the morning??" I said, "Not your business, Joe. We are friends, remember?" I could see him trying to listen in on the VM, which I hardly pressed to my ear and had high volume on to make sure he heard! HE HE!!

A long VM from the guy I had a date with today to go to the waterfront, saying he couldn"t wait, how beautiful it was outside, etc. Joes body just stiffened! Jerk!! COuldn't have possibly been better timing, I swear! I left, my friend called me later and asked what happened b/c Joe stormed out early--which he never, ever does at their house.( Sorry, I know it's devilish the way I feel--but this guy really, really hurt me and it feels right that he should squirm a tiny bit, ya know?)

His daughter called me tonight and she asked how my weekend was. I went on to tell her about how bizarre everything was, and she said, "Oh--that explains it! I asked my Dad how his weekend was and he just said, "Just DANDY!" and then said he had to go." We got a bit of a kick out of it, cuz she really thinks her dad was very stupid and immature for even breaking up with me--or lack there of--which is really what happened. Funny.

As far as making peace--I CHOSE to just forgive and move on. He really doesn't deserve forgiveness in the sense that he wasn't wrong or my feelings have eased about what he did to me. I deserved to forgive him--to let it go. It was eating me alive and all I did was want him. When I made this decision--I was set free of him and slowly I am seeing he wasn't God given--just a lying jerky guy who I was stupid enuf to fall in love with. I realize now that I fell in love with who he presented him self to be--NOT him. The real him has major issues, a drinking problem, and no drive to better him self or grow as a human being. He lied horribly about these things, and I ask myself why I even want to be friends with someone like that---I get the same answer all the time,--It's easier this way. It feels as tho I am taking the high road and it feels better to know I did nothing wrong. I feel mature and I feel in control this way. I hope that makes sense to you who were wondering whether to do this or not. It has really worked for me, as has getting involved with a couple other guys--hotties always help.

Shallow, but oh so true!! Hugs to all who are pining that last relationship that just killed ya. I feel for ya, and wanted to share this if it may help you. Forgiveness is absolute bliss and I actually feel free of him--the only thing I feel for him now is a bit of pity that he wants to spend his life alone--cuz I adore his daughter. She called me mom tonight on the phone. How pitiful is that?? My daughter and her have been on the phone for 2 hrs now, and she was so darn excited when she heard we jokingly slept in the same bed together she about exploded! I had to get back on and tell her it was a tipsy joke, and a bet, and not to get her hopes up. We were just being silly, but were freinds again, and that made her happy--but I think also hopeful. Poor kid. Her dad's a mess. OK__done rambling. Sorry!! See ya!! Hope you had a great weekend everyone!
I know, guys. The only things I have shared with her are in response to her relentless pursuit of getting us back together, or her telling me things that HE has told her. He tells his kids WAY too much, believe me, I know this is not right.

AS far as me saying that I was divorcing a liar...I wrote that in a post saying how wrong and full of revenge that was. I was ashamed as soon as it came out of my mouht, but she just wouldn't stop until I blurted out something way more....well, firm?

As soon as I said it, I said it was wrong and I shouldn't have said it, but the cat was out of the bag. SHe said she knew her dad lied to me, how could she not know that? That he promised me to be there forever--that I was the ONE. He allowed his kid and I to totally fall in love, as well as my daughter, and we are all still finding our way thru this.

I finally just had a long talk with her about creating drama to keep us connected--that I knew that's what she was doing, and it really needed to stop. I said we were never getting back together, adn it just made everyone really uncomfortable. SHe said she was never speaking to her dad again if he hurt me that bad that I would never consider getting back together with him. I told her she was being ridiculous and she couldn't not speak to her father over a relationship with a woman! That it was totally separate--but she swore up and down that HE chose to make it NOT separate when he said what he said about all of us and the future.

She said she's basically just so mad at her dad b/c he has always told her how nice he is to women, and she knows b/c of how he dumped me--he is a liar. You must understand guys--this girl was directly involved in the breakup.--SHE had to tell me, in NY when I went away to see my friend--that it was over btw us. I had no idea, only that he hadn't called for a few days and I was wondering why.

This man loves his kids--but handled this thing with me SO wrong with them. It was the first relationship he had in 12 yrs, and he really did things wrong. Now, we are left with the pieces--kids and families that have real bonds, and are grieving. I'm just trying to do the best I can with a girl who wants explainations and understanding of how her dad could have done this. I want explainations and understanding myself--so I just do the best I can and do a lot of "I don't know...." with her.

I tell her I will be a part of her life as long as she wants me to and that I love her. It is hard having her around, b/c I always think of Joe when she's here, and it saddens me. I do miss the time we had--but know it wasn't real. Hard to shake when his girl is here, she looks just like him, she calls me Mommy, and tells me,"Iknow my Dad still loves you. I know you could get back together with him..I am not giving up. This was meant to be--he's just being an idiot right now..." It's really hard you guys.

When they are up tonight--I am going out. I need to get away from it for a while--can'tt ake the whole night being bombarded by the 'get 'em back together crew!' LOL SHe promises she won't say anything, and then she does, or she doesn't, and then I hear about it the next day b/c she went home and gave her dad an earfull of drama. Last time it was how many phone calls I was getting from guys, and that I went out with a couple. Then he gets it about, "You are going to lose her forever, you stupid, stupid man!!!"

Teenagers!! I really am trying to do the best I can with this--a daughter who has been included in WAY too much. Joe was socially retarded with this one and his kids involvement, and now I am riding the end of it out. SHe'll get the picture soon enuf--she has to sooner or later when we both continue to move on, right?

AS far as Sunday--I think I have decided to just act like a parent of one of my kids friends about it. make arrangements that work for both, and contact whoever I need to contact about how to best get her home and at what time. If it's taking her to Joe's, (out in the sticks, people!!--I told you--he's a recluse)then it's taking her to Joe's. If he offers to pick her up--then that'll be fine. Might even ask him to fix my tv while he's here--he fixed it b4. Who knows how it will go, but I just want it to go normally, and uneventfully--like two normal people. NOT like the jerk guy who destryed my life for a while--just hey, how ya doin, normal!!!

I would have given me the same advice about the kids involvment, but this is just a very unique situation wiht a very unique girl who loves hard, is very close with her dad,and on way too much of a friend level with both of us--it's just what she got used to during the relationship with me, but now not all the news is good about me and her dad--like we used to share. She still wants to share, but there is no good news to share about her dad and I. Ergggh. I could go on forever. It's really complicated. My friends call it the most amazing love story they had ever seen, and then it blew up when you least expected it, and left everyone standing with their mouths hanging open in shock. I think they are dead on, and my mouth's still a little open. Trying to shut it, I swear.

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