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The other problem is that telling these girls you're not looking for commitment while at the same time treating them nice and spending time with them will not really help. Most women nowadays (including myself) think that it's like a knee-jerk reaction for guys to say they're not looking for commitment because so many of them say it. Unfortunately, when that comment is combined with a behavior of a good boyfriend, the majority of women would go by your actions not by your comment. We tend to think if a guy really likes us, he will change his mind about commitment. Apparently, that's not always the case. Well, you have to decide if travelling alone and exploring other options is worth losing this sweet and pretty girl who is so into you. Your choice.

Also, perhaps you could give some hints to some other nice and sweet guys on this board who would love to have your "problem," but somehow can't find girls interested in a relationship with them. Life is really ironic more often than not, I think, and most people want the opposite of what they have.
I am kind of torn... on one hand, I don't know if I believe that you are all that nice guy. It seems that you enjoy the benefits of being with someone without paying the cost of a commitment. However, maybe you are just a nice guy.

Most women expect only what you give them. You give them all the attention and responses of someone who is interested in something more than casual dating. Why are you so surprised that a woman would want to be with an attractive, nice man who treats them well?

I agree with the others who say you need to date women who are not interested in longterm or don't date the same woman past the third date.
Ok, my question is: What do you really want?

1. Do you want to have a girlfriend to spend time with and have sex with until you go off on your international trip?

2. When exactly are you planning to leave for your trip and for how long?

3. What do you plan to do about your relationship once you leave: do you want to end it completely, or do you want to keep your options open for when you come back?

These are very important questions you need to ask yourself. If you are leaving for an extensive trip soon and want to be single once you leave, I think the best thing is to end things with this girl now. Why prolong the agony? The more I read your post, the more I think this is what would make the most sense to do. You are clearly not interested in a long term relationship with her. There's nothing you can possibly say that will sound 100% right and not hurt her, but I guess you could say the truth that you are not ready for any kind of committed relationship for a long time and that you are serious about your long-term travel plans. It will hurt her no matter what if she has any feelings for you, but it's better to do it sooner rather than later. Oh, and please don't break up with her over email.
I agree with one of the other posters. It's fine to date women, sleep with them, whatever and so on,,,as LONG AS YOU ARE UP FRONT AND HONEST ABOUT YOUR NO-COMMITTMENT STATUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Personally, I don't know how a woman meets a man, takes them home and has sex with them the first night they meet, and expects the man would fall madly in love with them in the first place. But then again she is only 22. I am older than that and whole lot smarter.
Be nice guy, be good to them but above all BE HONEST!
You have to let them know where you are in your life and that your not interested in a long, drawn-out love affair. Leave it up to them whether or not they want to get involved with someone that may not have the same relationshp goal.
Besides, it's only been 5 weeks - Big deal. She can't possible be THAT in love with you already.
Be careful though - Karma may bite you right in the butt. You may meet someone that you truly care about and want to have a long term relationship with and she will tell you "She's only wanting to date and have fun - Nothing serious."
I'd tell her you are not looking for a serious relationship right now. You're very sorry, you should have said something weeks ago. You didn't because you like her and were afraid she wouldn't be interested is a more casual relationship. You need to tell her your travel plans are to go it alone and you don't want ANY woman along with you. That might help her understand the problem is you, not her. You know, you are still young, it's probably right for you to not want to settle down just yet and conciet is not that unusual in younger men. But, and this is a big but, it is not right to keep your intentions from women who may be growing to care for you. Sorry, but the truth will be difficult to say, hard for her to hear and may end the relationship. Just think, if you'd been upfont from the beginning, she may have accepted you and you could be relating, guilt free right now. As it is, I'll bet she is living under illusions you have yet, found the courage, to disabuse her of.





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