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Hi Scared Wife :wave:
I didn't realize you moved to be with your mom. So you moved out of your place, and he moved out too? Is your place empty? I thought he moved out and you were still in your home. My mistake!
You're right about all the knowledge LOL. I know what to look for now. I know how to recognize borderline behavior, and also narcissistic behavior. My last boyfriend was a narcissist, which I found out after the fact, although I knew something was "missing" with him, I couldn't put my finger on it. I read up a lot of good stuff on ********** too. Now I think I would be able to spot one....LOL
I'm glad you wrote you letter. I bet that made you feel better. You will sleep good tonite after getting it off your chest! I'm glad I was able to help motivate that process!
Funny what you say about beating the clock. He used to come over everyday after work and we would arrive at my place about the same time. after a while he started to pressure me about a key because he doesn't want to "wait" outside for me. He feels insulted that he's waiting in the parking lot and ringing the bell, like an ordinary person....he felt entitled to a key. He never asked nicely, he always brought it up snarly.....well if I had a key, yada yada yada. One time the power was out in my hallway and the doorbell didn't work. I didn't know he was ringing. He was furious that he couldn't get in and went to a bar and called me, although there is a pay phone by the gas station 2 doors down. He went on and on about....well if I had a key this would a never happenned...... It was a power trip with him, wanting the key, that way when he got mad he could storm out and COME BACK at will. Otherwise he storms out, he doesn't come back unless I let him. He wanted CONTROL. I didn't think he deserved a key, OR control or me and my life. I don't like the way he tried to bully me into it. So I know what you mean about beating the clock. I was always rushing right home from work, even though I may have wanted to stop for gas, a pack of cigarettes, a gallon of milk, or God forbid, what if I get caught by a train? I was worried about his rath of being kept waiting.
Oh another thing, he was used to taking a nap after work for an hour, which I would have no problem with. He wanted to come over and take a nap. Cool, he's out of my hair, I can unwind, read my mail, feed Junior, etc. Only problem was, he wanted to just take a nap and get up and shower after. We got into a power struggle about that because I didn't want him coming home from work smelly, stinky, and sweaty (and boy does this guy smell BAD when he sweats) and climbing into a clean bed. I used to kid him that he the stuff the oozes out of his poors was toxic. I really wan't kidding. I asked him to please shower first! He exploded! If he can't take a nap after work, he'll go home and take a nap in his own bed (like that's suppossed to hurt me). I told him if that stink gets in the matress, it won't come out. So it ended up being a power struggle with him showering sometimes before he napped, and sometimes not napping.
I know what you mean about missing him, but not missing the abuse. I feel th e exact same way.
No I never heard the counsellor say "WE", I'm going on what he tells me, which I realize may or may not be true. But of course the counsellor is only getting one side of the story, whatever he chooses to tell him, so the information is slanted in his favor right off the bat.
As far as the bookstore lady, you're probably right, he made it all up. You didn't sense any type of adverse reaction from her, regardless of what she may have said, did you?
Oh when he said he thinks it's only fair to go back to the psychologist because you agreed to the duplex thing, that's so much like what mine does.....they are using getting help for themselves as a bargaining chip with us.

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