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Yep, that was my father-in-law who said that directly to Steve in front of me and my husband. It was long overdue, too. He sure is sponging of of my inlaws as well as my husband. If I were them and I was making my adult employed son's truck payment and housing only to watch HIM spend his money on this guy, I'd be totally livid by now. I completely agree with you about this guy's lack of self-respect. I also cannot understand my husband's lack of self-respect and respect towards his parents in doing something like this. It's just wrong in my eyes - almost like stealing, too.

I also agree with your theory as to why my husband wants to have this guy (and others like him) around him - to make him feel better about himself. Maybe you're right though - maybe he is starting to see that he's not all that far above Steve anymore. He's hanging on by a thread from what I can tell and just barely. Hopefully, his parents are asking him how he can be in the state that he's in when he works a $20/hour job and they're paying his largest bill - the truck payment. Maybe Nakita was right as well when she mentioned that maybe he's starting to realize that there's something not quite right about himself - or maybe his parents are conveying that message.

I understand you sending back the neutral smiley face. It probably does make you feel better because if you're anything like me (& it sounds like you are), you can't help but feel sorry for him. At least you aren't getting pulled into any of those draining conversations for the moment. Have you been enjoying the rest? I'm sure you're sleeping a little bit better than you would during one of those rage periods. Your evenings are so identical to mine...I get home, do yardwork or something, chat with a friend or two and then it's off to bed after I go online for a little while. What a life we've got these days, eh?! LOL :) Look forward to chatting with you later on if you have the time.

Hi Nakita & Rose,

Sorry I haven't been on much through the weekend. I just couldn't stand the thought of seeing my husband online and not IM'ing me or sending an email. He's online now but has an away message. There's been no email from him at all either. Quite disappointing to say the least...still no explanation and certainly no apology for the way I've been treated. That hurts.

I've been trying not to focus on any response from him. This weekend I kept busy reading my book, working around the yard and went to a sidewalk sale just to browse around and get out with a girlfriend. So I've been trying not to sit idle if I can help it.

Nakita, I'm sorry to hear about that pup, too. That had to be a heartbreaking experience for your niece. You're so much like me...the family vet tech. LOL Most of my background is with horses. I got my own dog a few months after an old relationship ended. Stu's been a great companion since. He's SNORING on the couch right this moment with a full belly.
Thanks for enlightening Rose and me a little bit more, too. You guys are really helping me to plug along here. Some days I just feel like being alone to have a good cry; other days I can't stand being without a girlfriend to yak with. I really appreciate your positive feedback on the way I closed my letter. Guess I'm still just struggling to understand the lack of'd think by now he'd either send me a nasty email telling me to get lost or shove it or some form of explanation or apology. I don't get this.

Rose, good luck with your tests. I know how scary that stuff is. I had a precancerous condition in the mid-90's and it was terrifying for me. The problem was caught early and I endured some pretty painful procedures, but the end result has been good. This was another disappointment with regard to my husband. The day before the appt (early in the week that he flipped on me), I mentioned that I had an appt the next day. He just said, "OK - talk to you tomorrow" and gave me my 4 kisses and I left. I remember feeling pretty disappointed that he had no interest in where/when the appt was and offer to go with me for moral support since I always dread the exams and any tests they decide to do on me right then and there.

I like the way you are sticking to your boundaries that you're establishing. It sure is hard, isn't it? I hope he reads the book and recognizes some things about himself. It still seems unfair that he just wants to use the counseliing as a bargaining tool. That's not what it's supposed to be all about, you know?

Well, I'll try to check back in later with you guys tonight. Or, tomorrow morning from work. My company wants to send me for some kind of training in Albany, NY the following week and I'm trying to weasel out of it. I'm already overwhelmed with my current responsibilities and right now my head just wouldn't be into it.

Hope you're both doing well and had a nice weekend! I look forward to hearing from you! :wave:


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