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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

First of all, it seems like you need to be sure you're working with men who are looking for long-term relationships. This generally means older men who have their lives together enough to know they want to settle down. Getting set up can be very helpful because you can be sure that the person you're dating is marriage-minded, or at least serious enough to keep you around for a while.

Secondly, be sure you're not doing things that push men away. Being too clingy or dramatic or insisting on commitment too soon are the cliche mistakes women make that keep the men they have sex with from wanting to stick around.

When you relate to men you're interested it, don't just be like a sister or mother. Learn how to flirt and increase sexual tension. This is relevant throughout a relationship, not just in the beginning. Also, the general rule is that the boy chases the girl. Even if you want to break the mold and do something like ask a guy out, you have to remember that in the course of relating with him you have to give the signals that you want more, and he has to explicitly make the moves to make that happen. Somehow this is just in keeping with male/female psychology, and not making a man chase you a bit may push him away.

If you have hobbies or interests in common the man you're with, that can be the cause of a greater bond. If the only thing you have is sex, a man may not be as interested.

Make sure you take care of yourself in terms of cleanliness and dress.

This stuff is hard! I feel for you. We live in a culture where casual sex is relatively easy for a man to find. It used to be that if you wanted a parter to have sex with you had to get married. The way things are make it so much easier for men who just want sex, and so much more difficult for women who want long-term relationships.

Good luck!

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