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Relationship Health Message Board


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Lilly,
Wow that must be incredibly frustrating for you! It's got to be impossibly hard to remain living under the same roof as the man who broke your heart. What reasons did he give you for breaking up?
I don't know what the situation is with the house you're living in, but could you ask HIM to be the one who leaves and then see if you can find a roommate to help you with the payments? That way you can keep your dog. Look into fixing the living situation as soon as possible, because it sounds to me like your stress about him seeing another girl is stemming from the pain of still living with him. It would be much easier for you to heal and move on if you weren't. I think that should be your first priority.
Now... as painful as it is going to be to hear this, you really don't have any justification for checking up on his bank account or cell phone activity. You are no longer in a relationship with him and he really owes you no explanation for things he's bought or done. Regardless of whether or not he's telling you the truth. He shouldn't have to explain himself. So it's important that you stop driving yourself crazy trying to solve this mystery and work on the important task of mending your broken heart. The best type of break is a clean one: it heals much easier. When you keep scratching at the wound, it's never going to heal. You're torturing yourself by continuing to monitor his actions as if he was still your boyfriend. I can't imagine how painful this is for you, but it won't do you any good to hear that he does have another girlfriend. Believe it or not, that will most likely make you feel worse. The best chance you have at moving on is convincing yourself not to care! Don't be concerned with where he is or who he's with... put him out of your life as much as you possibly can and concentrate on your own life. Devote all your energy right now to fixing your living arrangements. I would really look into finding a roommate to live in the house with you and having HIM be the one to leave. Or, if that isn't an option, you may want to consider moving home. I realize it would be a big move for you, but right now you need to get yourself out of that situation. By any means necessary.
Best wishes, and remember that things will get better!!





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