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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I'm really confused here as to why you are so upset...personally I don't understand why his comment about being mostly interested in sex would offend you. I'd be tickled and happy if my boyfriend said something like this to me playfully as long as everything else was going great in the relationship. Then I read the rest of your post, and it sounds like the comment was such a spark that set you off thinking about all the things that have displeased you about your relationship. It sounds like while you were upset that he mentioned wanting sex, it's bothering you more that you feel like you care more and are putting more effort into the relationship than your BF is--is that accurate? I can certainly see why it would bother you if you feel this is true, especially if you are always the one who calls to check in on him and he only seems interested in sex and not in asking how you are doing otherwise. Anyway, this is a tough situation to evaluate without more information, but my impression is that you are at least somewhat overreacting to his comment about sex because you're angry and resentful about a lot of other things that displease you about your relationship. It just doesn't sound like you are happy or feel like he's as invested, enthusiastic, caring, and loving toward you as you are toward him...these are certainly valid concerns, but I think you need to face the things that upset you head on rather than using his sex comment as an excuse to be mad about everything that displeases you. It definitely sounds like you have complaints and issues that need to be fully and thoroughly addressed with your boyfriend...I would urge you to do some heartfelt thinking about what exactly is upsetting you, how you would like things to change within your relationship, and if you see the relationship pleasing you and satisfying you provided your boyfriend is willing to compromise as you wish. It usually helps me a lot to write down my thoughts and feelings when I'm pondering such issues...but the main thing is that I think you need to be honest with yourself about what are the significant, major issues here and what are just the minor symptomatic problems that set you off. To be honest, it sounds like you aren't very happy in this relationship and that your boyfriend is pretty frustrated trying and failing to please you...the fact that he says that you're always making him feel like he only cares about sex suggests to me like he has some serious concerns and complaints about the relationship just as you do. I really think you guys need to have a serious, candid, and open conversation about the problems you see as requiring redress within your relationship...I hope you are able to communicate honestly and productively and work things out. But the most important thing is that you be happy and fulfilled, whether or not that is possible within the confines of your current relationship or whether you ultimately decide that you'd be more content on your own or with another man who can return the concern and affection you don't feel that you're getting from your boyfriend. I wish you all the best of luck in coming to some sort of resolution about these issues and hope they don't continue to trouble and anger you for much longer...best wishes, take care, and good luck!





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