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Hello everyone! I am not sure how much you remember my story about my European ex who was calling me non-stop back in May ( my last thread here from 24th May) and begging me to talk to him again. He was upset since I tried to move on with my life as he told me to (by the way) and because I blocked him on ***. Anyway, after so many phone calls and a long email where he was telling me that his heart was crying and his stomach was in pain and that he was the most sorry guy and so on, despite all your advice, I answered in the end. Since then we have been in contact but then slowly with time he was never clear if he wanted us to be back together. Every time I asked him, he said that due to the distance we cannot and that we need to take things slowly. Every time I asked him why was he contacting me again then, he said because he likes me and cares for me and does not want to loose me. So the whole summer we would send occassioanal emails, text messages. He would be the one most of the time who would initiate the contact. And then he suggested for us to meet to see how we feel together and whether there is a chance for us to work things out. So I booked my flight in August to go and see him during a weekend. We had a fight over this, because I said to him that since he was the one breaking up, he should be booking the flight and coming to see me. But his argument was that he lives in one of the most beautiful capital cities in Europe and there are many things to see. Anyway, things were going ok in June and July. He was nice to me. I started to go out a lot with my friends here and so I didn't worry too much. BUT this weekend has changed things a lot!

When I met him we obviously ended up being intimate together most of the weekend. But when I wanted to discuss our relationship, he kept saying that he not ready to be tied down and that he does not want a long-distance relationship so I didn't really understand why would he still want me to be in touch with him. I got quite upset with him because he said to me in May that we would meet to see how we feel and to work things out but he said again that he does not want to have a serious relationship. What upset me also that he said that he kissed 6 girls after the break up... I must admit I did kiss guys too but my hopes were still for us to get together. I asked him if he slept with any of them and he said no. I asked him if he would sleep with any girl, and he said that he is a guy and he can't stay a priest his whole life but he said that since me he hasn't. He said to me though that if he knew that I did, he would be pretty upset and maybe he would stop talking to me because he knows that for me having sex with someone means a lot but he says for him as a guy it means a different thing. I have to say that this made me really insecure. Anyway, when I returned from this weekend, I found it really hard. I realised that all my feelings came back and I missed him so bad.

He called me sometime last week and I told him that I cannot continue this way and we have to make some kind of decison? He said to me that he doesn't want a long-distance relationship. I said to him that we both earn money and we could meet more often as our countries are 1 hour by plane. He said that he does need to see me more often and he doesn't like the idea of once a month meeting. I asked him if he sees future for us? and he said that he does not know and that he can't promise anything. I said that we could think about living in a same country. europe is not big. He said that moving for his job is ok for him but that it would scare him if he though that he is moving for a girl. He says he is scared of these things. I explained that I am scared of continuing this way because I wouldn't like to experience a situation where he meets another girl and becomes serious with her and drops me. He said that he would never do that. He said that he cares for me too much and even if he met another girl, he would still talk to me. I said to him that we should meet more often and he said that we should but that it's difficult to plan things like that.. I asked him to make a decision between being with me or being single and free. He said that he can't be with me. So I said that clearly he decided that being single is better for him. He said that it's not like that. He just isn't ready to be tight down and especially not with someone who doesn't live in the same country. So I said to him why does he still call me and why does he still wants to see me sometimes and he responded "because I like you". I said to him that unfortunately I need to see him more often and I am too scared of the future so I need to walk away... he was upset and asked if I was prepared to sacrifice everything and I said that it's hard for me this way.

We had a fight on Sunday because I overreacted on Saturday. He said he was going to send me a message on Saturday and help me with something but he didn't so I sent him a message asking if he was busy and that I thought he would contact me. He sent me one back and said that he is not at home and that he is having a dinner with a friend and that he will talk to me on Sunday. I was so upset because I started to panick who this friend was and also I was upset that he didn't even bother to tell me that he won't be at home in the end. So I sent him one back and said that he could have let me know and that I hope he will enjoy the dinner and that I am hurt because he does not care when he is with someone else.. I was quite hurt by it all!! The message was pending for at least 2 hours, which made me feel even more insecure! He never said anything back. On Sunday he sent me one back saying that yes he wasn't at home, he was with a friend who is a guy and that he shouldn't feel obliged to do things for me.. I was so upset. We then chatted on *** but got into a fight over it and he told me that he doesn't owe me anything and that I really pissed him off on Saturday with the way I reacted.. and I said to him ok leave me then and his reply was quite unexpectedly ok then good bye!! He then sent me an email:

i have got nothing to reproach to me because i havent done anything bad to you. i didnt see anybody yesterday except my friend (a guy) so dont blame me. if the message was pending it 's because the network was bad in my friend's flat or because i was in the underground. you were yesterday even worse than when we were together, i cant believe u blamed me for that. just because i couldnt help u, because i spent the afternoon and the evening with my friend without going back home. i dont know why i should let u know about all my movements. i dont owe you anything. i dont understand your reaction. Behave a bit. it's going a bit too far. i guess you dont want to talk to me anymore. It's your choice. i guess it's the best solution, our situation is getting very complicated. there's a big lack of confidence on both sides and different expectations, the distance is not managable and so on.. i m quite sad but i guess it's better for both of us, we make both of us suffer from it so it's not good. but just keep in mind that i cared about u and i liked u a lot. I never make u suffer on purpose.
The best is to talk to each other again after a long while when our feelings for each other are not strong anymore as if we only want to be friends and not more, which is definitely not the case now.

All the best in your life and maybe i will see you again

bye

When I read this email, I felt so much hurt! I sent him a message if he could talk to me so we did but he said that he has nothing to say and that I am too demanding and that I behave as if we are together but he said we are not! He said that he repeats that he doesn't owe me anything and then he said that he has got to go as he has things to do!

I feel so shocked and hurt and so guilty! I mean he behaved to me when I went to see him for a weekend like he was still with me! He was physical with me and he kept telling me that he doesn't want to loose me. What should I do? I haven't heard from him today at all! And 2 months ago when I tried to walk away and move on, he begged me to talk to him again and so I did and now he is gone! He broke up with me in March and I was still there for him.. I just don't know! I want to send him an email and ask him if he meant it! I just cannot believe he would just walk away like that!?

Please help. I am so sad ! What should I do? He was the one not happy about me walking away and now he did exactly that

PS So sorry about the length. I just needed to explain the whole situation how it exactly all happened. :confused: :(





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