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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hi there,

I'm not sure I agree with Gundam about the money and her not returning your calls right away...after all, you did send money before she made up her mind to end things and on cruises people are often busy and not around to answer their phones much of the time. I could see if she never got back to you, but anyway, I don't really think that's the issue, and I definitely agree with Gundam on his main point: if she doesn't want to be with you any longer, then she is definitely a bad choice for you, and you can do a LOT better. Any woman who doesn't wholeheartedly adore you, appreciate you, and cherish your relationship isn't a good catch. So please hang in there and trust that no matter what happens, it will be for the best. You're going to learn some important lessons from this situation and will become a much more understanding and mature partner regardless of how it turns out. If your girlfriend isn't willing to work things out and if she doesn't appreciate how lucky she is to have you make such an effort to improve and salvage your relationship, then you're better off without her, and if she does, then your relationship will be stronger and healthier than ever. All you can do is try your hardest to be a good boyfriend, give her space, and trust that if she's the right girl for you, she'll come back to you with open arms. If she doesn't, then you'll be a lot happier with someone else someday, and I know it won't be long before you find another woman who does cherish everything you do for her and all the love you show her. I'm just a little older than you and recently lost a guy I'd lived with for over three years...I really loved him but in retrospect, other than the external factors like my chronic illness and some of his family members, it was being too close and not having enough freedom and independence separate from each other that killed our love. It sounds like you and your girlfriend might also be smothering each other, and I hope you are able to give each other more space in time to save your relationship, unlike what happened to mine (though I know deep down he wasn't the right guy anyway). Whatever happens, you will be okay, so just try to be patient, keep busy, and do the best you can to show her you love her and will do whatever is necessary to make the relationship work as long as she's willing. I wish you the best of luck...please keep us updated!

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