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[QUOTE=Hiya] Because saying "I'm not ready for marriage" implies a "yet...but..." which means someday he will be ready to marry her. But as we've seen in this thread, that's not the truth. The truth is, he knows deep down he wants to get married, or else he would never have moved in with her to see how things would go. He just doesn't want to marry HER. Simply saying "I'm not ready to get married yet" isn't really honest because it implied he will marry her when he's ready someday. But he will never want to marry her. And he should tell her that. [/QUOTE] Moving in together is sometimes just that, moving in. Doesn't always mean marriage is next. Saying he isn't ready isn't saying someday we'll get married, it's saying he isn't ready. He may never be ready and he is being honest with her about how he feels. I'm a bit curious as to your age and many other ladies on this thread as well. I don't mean anything bad by this, but you seem very young when it comes to this type of thing.


[QUOTE=Hiya]It does sound like she has either an anxiety disorder or some kind of abandonment issues. But I agree with the posters who say it's a matter of compatibility as well. Paul McCartney once said that when he was recording in London, the label set him up in a fancy hotel room and every night he had the choice of staying in this beautiful hotel room, jamming all night long, hanging with the boys, or driving 2 hours or so to come home to Linda. He said he always chose Linda, because that just always sounded like more fun. In the 30 plus years they were married, you never saw one without the other nearby, and I don't see anything at all pathetic about their marriage. They both just really enjoyed closeness and each other's companionship. They were well suited. They were both the type of people who just enjoyed a lot of time with their partner. If you're the type of person who could be apart from your partner for 20 days in a month or two months and be ok, that's fine too, as long as you find a partner who is also fine with it. This girl is obviously someone you will never want to marry. You're not doing her any favors by leading her to believe she will be your wife one day. I think it's pretty clear you know deep down she never will be. I beg of you, though, please don't just sit on your hands and grow more and more resentful of her while you wait for her to "get the message." I dated someone who did that to me instead of just respecting me enough to be honest with me, and it was just cruel. The break up didn't hurt me nearly as much as did his lying and leading me on. Yes, it's going to be messy, but that's the risk we all take when we date someone. We risk not wanting to stay and having to break it off. By ending it, you will be honoring your own feelings as well as hers, even though it will hurt her. Losing you won't hurt her nearly as much as finding out she was being played for a fool all this time. You need to let her down easy, and now. Make it clear you care for her but living together has shown you that you just aren't suited for each other. If you're afraid she will try to hurt herself, you may want to contact her friends or a family member to see her through it. But respect her basic humanity enough to be honest with her. [/QUOTE]Compatibility is a big part of this situation and they are obviously NOT compatible at all. Trying to push someone into marriage is a very big mistake and can cause major problems down the road. Guy is not Paul McCartney and he is not leading his girlfriend to believe she will be his wife one day. She is doing that all by herself. Pushing him is not going to get her anywhere, she is causing herself more problems and if she continues she will be more unhappy then she already is.





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