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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Thanks guys! I've calmed down some. Angel, you really got me to look at the bright side of things. It's nice to know that it really can work out and I can get past this fear. I'm glad your decision was the right one and I wish you the best of luck! What you did- moving across the country- is FAR more difficult than what I'm doing! You left work, family, friends, everything! You just followed your heart and trusted the relationship.
I think that's what's missing in my situation. I don't trust it. It's almost like it's "too easy". I'm used to being seen as an obligation to a man. I'm used to the line "We spend too much time together". I'm used to being thrown aside every other day, and not taken seriously. And I'm used to having to keep things bottled up. That's why I got so hooked on the idea of living independently. Then when I met my boyfriend and he wanted to spend every minute with me and share his home with me and he was willing to talk about marriage... well I guess I just didn't believe it.
It's sad that I feel this way. Because I don't want to let him get away when I love him so much. I just can't help but wait for the other shoe to drop. And that's no way to live. All I want in life is to know that my heart is safe. To really FEEL that safety every day. To not have to experience this anxiety and panic.
I think that's why I'm going to do as Evy suggests and set aside my own "get out of jail free" fund. We're not getting joint accounts, so my money is mine. I will sign up for a few of those real estate sites that send you updates when a place goes up for sale. And I will just live moment to moment, never knowing what the next moment will bring!
I love him with all my heart. I really don't understand why I'm acting this way.

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