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Relationship Health Message Board

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Stacy!! You are so right by this <<is obviously completely ludicrous) is a deliberate attempt to manipulate her son into taking sides, at least to some degree>>>>

Her 2nd son just moved to PA to live with the real father. And she looks at it as "HE (ex hubby and new wife) won" And now that we are getting married and I of course spend more time with my mom discussing wedding then I would her (duh).

I understand thir spending habits will most likey NEVER change. And that I probably cannot change it, but if working together with my boyfriend can get his credit better then we will be better becauset this will never happen again to him. My mother spoke to his step mom today who called to talk wedding and find out details and let us know that she and my boyfriends dad are more then happy to help us pay for things of course.

She (step mom) also mentioned that she'd like to help us get out of this situation. She has outstanding credit and mentioned getting a loan for what we need, then paying her (his parents give us the money then we pay it to her). I have a feeling it may be a good idea. She said this would help get my boyfriends credit re-building which is what we need more then ever right now!!

Stacy- I do have my ring, got it about a month and a half ago. So I do have the ring. And together we have been making deposits on reservation things for the wedding. The problem we now face is getting our own place we anticipated getting a house before our wedding, but they have shot his credit so until it is paid and he is able to rebuild he is screwed. No loan for a car, no loan for a house no loan for anything he ever wants until it is gone and fixed!!! Also he did move out of his parents for a year prior to now. He moved back home to save money to get me my ring and pay for the wedding but we are not in search of our own apartment.

I'm not to concerned about abuse. His mother was abused by his still step dad, he use to be a reak jerk, broke her jaw once, and when my boyfriend was young there was nothing he could do, he remembers being in harbor houses and stuff growing up. His step dad stopped cold turkey one day. I sometimes think it may be because my boyfriend is bigger than him and he knew if it continued he'd end up beat to a pulp. He hasnt touched the mother again since, but what is her deal for staying with him right?! Makes me sick too.

I keep putting it in his head the amount of damage they have actually commited here. The fact that he will not be eligable for a loan until this is cleaned out and rebuilt. He will have to keep the vechical he now has, he will never be approved for any loan, no credit cards nothing ever again until this is fixed.

It leaves him silent when I talk to him sometimes. The other night I went on about how what they have done has really made me look at them differently and I dont think I will EVER look at them the same way again. I told him I do not trust them and do not like them at all right now. I told him it my change but it may not. I basically told him how much I dislike his parents for everything they have done. If he doesnt like that too bad is what I say. I have a right to tell him. If he canthandle me hating it then he can leave me. Im putting up with it just like he is...

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