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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hello all. This is complicated but here goes...About 8 years ago I dated this guy. He was basically homeless,had alot of problems, drugs, etc but he was HOT and a very, very nice guy. I guess I was one of those girls who gravitated towards guys who needed me and I would take care of them. Anyway, I got an apartment and we lived together for almost a year. I was soooooo in love with him. I had lots of boyfriends but none like him. I would've done anything for him. He was 17 at the time and got taken into SRS custody after they found out he did not live w/ his mother (who was a druggie and unable to be found). I also had his little sister with me and I was only 18. She aso got taken into SRS custody. I fought to keep him in foster care until he turned 18 in our city and stood by him when he went through so much. So then my mothers freind took him in as a foster son and suddenly he wouldn't talk to me anymore. I was so hurt. One minute he wants to marry me and the next after all I did for him he was gone. Fast forward 1 year. I'm with another guy and I find out that my ex was in a near-fatal car accident. They said he would not live and if he did he would not be able to talk or walk again. He was in a coma for 2 months. This ruined my relationship with my new guy. I was so preoccuppied with my ex and depressed over his accident. It made my new guy realize that I still loved him. My ex and I still did not get together. He came out of it ok but we only stayed casual. Hi here and again. Fast forward again. Now I am married to a great guy I have been with for 4 years. My husband is the first guy I dated with a car, a job, no drugs, it was great. It was a healthy relationship. Here's the thing. My ex has been coming around alot. He and my mom are very close. My mom loves my husband as her own son but she also loves my ex. We were the only real family he had. He keeps telling my mom how he wishes he didn't hurt me and that he wishes we were still together. I love my husband but I can't stop thinking about my ex. Everytime he comes around I just cant stop thinking about what my life would be like if I were married to him instead. My husband and my ex are both total opposites. I wish I could roll them both into 1 man then it would be perfect. I just wish I knew how to handle my feelings. I will not leave my husband. Any advice? Sorry this is soooo long. Just had to get it off my chest.





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