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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

No Sophia, please don't do it! You are way better than him and way better than that...he knew where to reach you if he wanted to talk again. I bet he's still being indecisive and flaky with his loser ex nipping at his heels :rolleyes:...remember it's so much better to be alone than to be settling. It drives me nuts that there are people out there trying to make you and GG somehow feel lacking because you aren't in relationships! I really don't understand why so many women are so obsessed with marriage and think it's better somehow to be married than single...they must either be REALLY traditional or extremely insecure and needy. I can't imagine any other reason to think it's better to be boring and stuck with one guy for the rest of your life, like that's somehow admirable...yuck! I could marry any one of a number of guys I know and have known, and I'd be miserable, rather than free to date all the guys I want and do whatever I want. If I was married, I'd definitely remember my single days with fondness, that's for sure! I think I'd be jealous of single people, so I don't get why many married people seem to think it should be the other way around and try so hard to make single people feel that it should be, too (especially since so few people are truly happy and fulfilled in their marriages and relationships). Please don't let their pettiness drag you down and influence you to settle...and remember that poeple who are content with their own lives don't worry about what other people do or judge them. It's only miserable people who want other people to feel miserable, I guess so they can feel better about their own miserable lives. But there is NOTHING inherently better about being married and a lot that is undesirable, especially from an enlightened, independent female point of view. It's sad to me that the cult of marriage has taken over, like that awful Desperate Housewives show with old miserable suburban ladies being such a big deal now (instead of Sex and the City being the hit show in the 90s when Clinton was in charge and everything was so much better)...I guess settling down and sleeping with the same man, being surrounded by little family pods all over suburbia, just seems really unpleasant and repressive to me. But even if you want domesticity, I still think you should reject any ideas that women are better if they're settled down and preferably married.

You are so much cooler, smarter, and prettier than the vast majority of women, married or single (and if you think about it, there are a lot of pretty single women out there and a lot of really frumpy, dumpy married women, not to mention a whole lot of cheating husbands). Anyway, NG is WAY beneath you and not even remotely worthy of your attention...someone much better will come along soon :) especially if you believe that, stay positive, and keep being proactive. I really think that's true...and maybe if you want a relationship less, you will fall into one more naturally? I've noticed this has been the case almost every time I've gotten involved in the past, that I didn't really want to find a new boyfriend, so who knows? But I know that a woman who looks like you can't really avoid guys, so I'd just have fun maybe until you leave NYC when you can and find a more relationship-friendly but still urban area? I don't know, but I can't imagine that I'd be able to find a satisfactory relationship in NYC. I'm inclined to think that the lack of relationship oriented guys you're finding has more to do with your location than with your desirability as a partner. Also, it's a really diverse, busy city, and people go out a ton because they all live near each other--do you think that helps explain why guys there seem tougher to pin down, so to speak (though I still don't really understand the superiority of weekend night dates)? Maybe it's more of a single city? In any event, hang in there and hold out for a lot better than NG, because you deserve a lot more than he is capable of giving. I think you're awesome and I'm sure a great guy will too any day now...:)

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