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Relationship Health Message Board


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Kim,
I'm so sorry you're in such a tough situation! You shouldn't have to be in the middle of your father's unfaithfulness. And just because he's not married doesn't mean he's not being unfaithful. He certainly is. He's done this before and was given a second chance. He clearly isn't displaying remorse for what he did to his family. He clearly hasn't grown as a person since the incident. It's going to be the hardest thing you'll ever do, but I do think you should tell him. Right now this is like a weight on your shoulders. Ibeeshell explained feeling such intense stress over knowing her mom was cheating. The same thing will happen to you if you carry this burden. It's not yours to carry, though. Give it to your father. Tell him you found his document (you really didn't snoop much- he left it on the screen!) and that you're disappointed to see that he's doing this to you and your mother. I doubt he will be able to continue having an affair when his daughter knows about it. It will make HIS shoulders heavy and his guilt will grow. Hopefully he will confess to your mother, but I can't say for sure. Last time he cheated, did he confess? Or did she catch him? This makes a big difference.
If he doesn't confess to your mother and it's still bothering you, maybe you could think of a way to let her figure it out. For instance, tell your mom you're trying to open a document on the computer but you don't remember where you saved it and see if she goes through looking for it and stumbles upon the proof. I just hate the thought of having to live with this knowledge and watch your mother go about her life without knowing. It would kill me. Plus, I personally would feel the need as a woman to stand by my fellow women in a situation like this. We need to protect oneanother from these men. If it was me, I'd probably tell my mom. But I don't think you're as "anti-man" as I am, so it probably wouldn't be in your best interest!





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