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[QUOTE=mada_3083]i understand that people need to compromise... the behaviour in question is 2 out of 7 days... what happens on the other days? is the poster compromising, or expecting HIM to change to fit HER schedual. sounds too one sided to be a compromise to me. it may not be a case of him only wanting her when the tv's off, it could be a case of "she's too busy for methrough the week, my buddies are all around, and i just wanna watch the game."

oh and if a girl came on here and said "my boyfriend expects me to give up my friends, my hobbies, just so he can see me on weekends" i'm pretty sure the advice would be to drop the guy cause he's controlling.[/QUOTE]

I think you have it all backwards. Most couples do stuff on weekends because people tend to be busy during the week. Even if she was spending an evening or two during the week with him, I think she would still want to go out with him on at least a Saturday. That's what people do on Saturday nights if they have a boyfriend: they spend time with him or spend time as a group with mutual friends, but this guy is excluding her completely. THis is not right, no matter how you look at it. I haven't read anywhere that she wants him to give up his friends and hobbies. She wants him to spend some time with her, as any girlfriend would. She won't be going to school forever, that schedule is not permanent. On the other hand, he will probably always spend all his weekends watching sports with a bunch of guys. Besides, if he wants to see her on weekdays so badly, he could just marry her and they would live together and see each other every night. Doesn't seem like he's in a hurry to do that even at the age of 37 and having dated this woman for four years. Sounds to me like a lost cause, unfortunately.
[QUOTE=SophiaM]I think you have it all backwards. Most couples do stuff on weekends because people tend to be busy during the week. Even if she was spending an evening or two during the week with him, I think she would still want to go out with him on at least a Saturday. That's what people do on Saturday nights if they have a boyfriend: they spend time with him or spend time as a group with mutual friends, but this guy is excluding her completely. THis is not right, no matter how you look at it. I haven't read anywhere that she wants him to give up his friends and hobbies. She wants him to spend some time with her, as any girlfriend would. She won't be going to school forever, that schedule is not permanent. On the other hand, he will probably always spend all his weekends watching sports with a bunch of guys. Besides, if he wants to see her on weekdays so badly, he could just marry her and they would live together and see each other every night. Doesn't seem like he's in a hurry to do that even at the age of 37 and having dated this woman for four years. Sounds to me like a lost cause, unfortunately.[/QUOTE]


if there was a formula for most couples to work, then relationships would be easy. unfortunately they are not easy, and there isn't a set of rules to follow.

[QUOTE=realguy]Compromise, Tell him he can watch some football on one weekend day with his friends (let him pick the day). Then try it without the friends. Eventually reduce the amount of time over a season.
If he breaks his promise, Do not see him during the week when he chooses to be with you.[/QUOTE]


this is what i was referring to about making him "ditch his friends".

murray, sounds like a positive step. sometimes people dont realise (even if you tell them) the effects their having. good luck





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