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[QUOTE=opielonghorn]that's the hard part. when my boyfriend and i broke up a year ago, i thought the same thing. how could this person, who told me i was the ONLY one he could talk to, how we would ALWAYS know each other, want to end the relationship? the fact of the matter is, he was and probably still is a very confused person. it doesn't mean that he was insincere when he said those things. at the time, he probably meant them. but sometimes things change, and people's feelings change. that's just life. and i seriously doubt that my ex (or your ex, for that matter) is mocking you at all. and if he is, so what? what does that matter to you? basically, you're supposed to not care about it because caring about it has only brought you heartache. time for a new approach. i told my ex my biggest, most embarrassing secret, and he could be laughing about it with his next twenty girlfriends for all i care. it doesn't change who i am, or how i live my life. i don't hate him, and i wish good things for him in the future, despite his less-than-honorable behavior towards the end. it's easy for me to forgive because everyone makes mistakes, and my behavior was not always what it should have been, either. nobody is perfect. forgive him, forgive yourself, and stop obsessing over what he's laughing about or not laughing about, or how happy or unhappy his marriage may be. it doesn't matter.[/QUOTE]

The thing is, the more vunerable you make yourself to someone, the more you are leaving yourself open to hurt if they break your trust. I made myself more vunerable to him than I had ever experienced before in my life. It doesn't really matter if he mocks me or not, or if he truly wishes me well. The bottom line, the one I just can't get over, is, the only time I made myself vunerable to him, he said "eh, no thanks." I don't know. I don't mean to argue, and I don't think I can really explain it any better. Just remembering the look on his face when I would get frustrated with such a hard line he drew and I felt he wasn't even listening to me, and he'd frown at me and say "why are you like that?" I can't forget it, and I can't help how much it cuts clean down to the bone. I just don't see how this will ever stop ripping my heart out.





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