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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=Hiya] But to give my body, my heart and soul, trust and love to someone, the one person in the whole world I ever thought I could really trust, the only person I thought I could finally rely on to not hurt me, thinking he would cherish and value it all, and to believ him when he says he loves me, I'm his best friend and always will be, etc etc, and to find out it was all a lie and he thought I was just some little chippie to be lied to and used, then laughed about with his friends afterward, I don't know how I'm supposed to not care about that.[/QUOTE]

that's the hard part. when my boyfriend and i broke up a year ago, i thought the same thing. how could this person, who told me i was the ONLY one he could talk to, how we would ALWAYS know each other, want to end the relationship? the fact of the matter is, he was and probably still is a very confused person. it doesn't mean that he was insincere when he said those things. at the time, he probably meant them. but sometimes things change, and people's feelings change. that's just life. and i seriously doubt that my ex (or your ex, for that matter) is mocking you at all. and if he is, so what? what does that matter to you? basically, you're supposed to not care about it because caring about it has only brought you heartache. time for a new approach. i told my ex my biggest, most embarrassing secret, and he could be laughing about it with his next twenty girlfriends for all i care. it doesn't change who i am, or how i live my life. i don't hate him, and i wish good things for him in the future, despite his less-than-honorable behavior towards the end. it's easy for me to forgive because everyone makes mistakes, and my behavior was not always what it should have been, either. nobody is perfect. forgive him, forgive yourself, and stop obsessing over what he's laughing about or not laughing about, or how happy or unhappy his marriage may be. it doesn't matter.





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