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[QUOTE=shelley78][I]He might be the right one "on paper", but I don't think he's the right one FOR YOU. You seem to have no attraction to him, no desire to have sex with him, and if you're not sure if you love him or not, you probably don't. You know he's a nice guy, but you're looking for more than that. And that's all right. I think it's time to let him go.[/I]

see thats the thing- i dont think that is the problem.. i know it sounds like that- but I think the problem lies with me.
I have no desire to have sex with anyone... so I think I just dont like sex.
The only thing I'm looking for more of is someone who is drop dead goergous and a charmer (and those are the worse kind to be in a relationship with)... Its going to be very hard to find someone who treats me the way he does - and I that I enjoy being with....Thanks for the advice though- but I honestly think the issues are deep rooted in me--- and if I let him go- I will regret ot forever![/QUOTE]

This is a tough one...I can see it both ways. Did you have sexual desire for any men before you were with your current BF? You said that you guys used to have amazing sex, so didn't you enjoy it at some point? It does kind of sound like you're not particularly attracted to this guy, otherwise I doubt you'd think (let alone tell him) that he's fat and has a big nose. It sounds like you think he's a great boyfriend and don't want to regret letting him go, but he doesn't arouse the kind of passionate, intense love in you that makes people certain they are with the right person. When I've been very easily to get angry or frustrated, then snap, at past boyfriends, it's generally been because I was sick and tired of them, sure they weren't the one, and ready to move on. On the other hand, I identify with where you're coming from in being generally tough to please and not particularly easy-going, and there have definitely been times where I was mean, critical, and nit-picky with exes even though I loved them more than anything. I guess only you know for sure whether it's something lacking in him (or your relationship) that's bothering you or whether he's definitely the man you want to be with forever and it's just because of the way you are that you're treating him how you've been treating him. Has it always been this way? If you do decide that he's the man for you, I urge you to find a way to treat him with more kindness and patience. One of the reasons I lost my last ex, the first guy to leave me and the first guy I could see spending my life loving, was because I allowed my temper to get the best of me and often took my natural quickness to anger and criticize, along with my chronic pain condition which made me more irritable, out on him. I wish more than anything that I could take that back and not have ever been mean or negative around him whether or not things would have ultimately worked out with us. So if you really love him and want to stay together, I suggest you seek help in stopping the way you're currently acting, and if you're being this way because you're bored with him and want out, then do you both a favor by ending things now before you cause each other any more pain and confusion. I really feel for you here, and hope you are able to decide what the best choice is for you soon...whether or not your current boyfriend turns out to be the one for you or not, I'd strongly suggest that you get counseling to help you better deal with anger and frustration. I too have a tendency to take that out on the people I love who are closest to me and there are times when I absolutely hate myself for doing so. I imagine you're already seeking counseling for your depression, but perhaps a therapist who specializes in anger management and/or relaxation techniques can help teach you not to let things like this negatively impact your relationships and hurt people you care deeply about. I should do the same--well in any event, good luck and take care of yourself! :)





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