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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I agree with Mada...don't let your insecurity and bruised male ego get in the way of what sounds like a great relationship with a wonderful girl who adores you. I'm also a girl who men consider beautiful that absolutely loves sex and doesn't need to feel emotionally connected to a guy to enjoy hooking up with them, but when I am truly in love, I'd never think of going elsewhere for sex. It sounds like your GF is very similar to me and that her other encounters all happened before you two were committed to being an exclusive couple. It's perfectly natural and understandable for guys to get jealous and threatened when they think about their sexy girlfriends who are great lovers being with other guys, but it's your choice whether or not you let that get in the way of being happy with her. I'm not saying you're insecure overall, but it's clear here that you're feeling insecure about her being able to sleep with whoever she wants whenever she wants...my boyfriends have all felt the same way, because while my looks and my lack of sexual inhibitions were part of what made them love me, they also knew that I had been the same way with other guys and could do that again at any time. But part of why relationships are tricky is that it's tough not to let fear and insecurity get in the way of being happy, and trusting someone who has the power to break your heart is always a scary, but ultimately worthwhile, risk to take. In your case, I think you would really regret letting your uncertainty and jealousy erode your trust in a woman you have no reason to doubt and obviously love, so I'd urge you to do everything in your power not to let fear stand in the way of being happy together. So many great relationships have fallen apart because one partner or the other was threatened and scared of the other wanting someone else, and it would be a real shame if the same thing happened to you. Remember that whatever is going to happen regarding your girlfriend's sexual choices is going to happen whether you trust her, put your doubts out of your mind, and enjoy your love, or whether you let insecurity and jealousy consume you and poison your relationship. You have control over whether or not this issue is going to eat away at you and your love for your girlfriend, so don't let it!! Trust her when she says she loves you and only wants you, because I can tell that she means it, and when I've said the same thing to men I've truly loved, I've stood by my word, regardless of how many men hit on me or how tempted I might feel. Anyway, please make the choice to trust her and be happy, as I can promise you that you will regret it for a very long time if you allow your fear and negative thoughts to overshadow all the positive aspects of your relationship. Good luck!





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